The Quagmire

Who Dat? Geaux Saints! (Dedicated to Carey Alice Tews)

2010-02-07T23:31:00.001-05:00

First, congratulations for the New Orleans Saints on winning the Super Bowl. I wanted them to but didn't expect them too. I'm glad because they deserve it, and dare I say are entitled to one. In spite of their mostly crappy defensive showing at the game.

(I have lots of pictures but they may not be on Flickr for a few days.)

As late as Thursday morning I was still unsure I could go to the game. I was told I might have ticket(s) available to me but not where or how many or even a guarantee. I wasn't worried because even if I had one, I knew some other people who were going to the game. I ended up going -- if you know where Evan usually sits, it was two sections over and five rows higher: just under the scoreboard on the far side even with the sideline. Pretty much the worst seat in the house. But, it's the SuperBowl. I wish I had gotten a ton of tickets because I had lots of friends who wanted them, but my Dolphins rep said I was lucky to get even one ticket considering the waiting list had over 5,000 people on it for just a few hundred tickets for the home crowd. Most were singles scattered about the arena. Again, it's the SuperBowl.

I ended up going in one car with Evan. With parking passes at $75 for the parking all the way at 199th Street and the Turnpike in the lots on either side of the Turnpike, two cars was a joke. The closer lots were $250 and $500. He was due at my house at 10am, but arrived at 930. We went to breakfast at Original House of Pancakes, then to Publix to buy food thanks to the slight relaxing of the no-tailgating rule. We then went back to my house to load the car.

We left my house a little after 11am, arriving at the stadium parking area near noon. The lot wasn't that full despite having opened at 11am. It didn't get full until close to 1pm. Note to self for next time. We ended up having a French Canadian park next to me, and I only point it out because after the game he was pissing on my tire. Seriously. (Evan claims it was the tree near my car, but I disagree.)

We prepared to go in, ditching all camera cases, binocular cases, and everything else that was on the banned list. The list that they changed three times this week. Not cool. We finally decided to go in to the fan area and kill time as you can only sit in the parking lot and be bored for so long -- without a tailgate it's just not so fun. And we kept getting pestered by people selling legitimate items (lanyards, programs) and counterfeit items (hats. T-shirts, towels, lanyards).

We went in, got in the security queue. They first make sure you have a ticket, then they glance at your for obvious no-nos such as large bags, coolers, mortar shells. Next up they check your ticket again, make you throw away all food, water, etcetera (in spite of the instructions saying sealed bottles of water were okay). Then you get patted down. Then you go through airport style security. I emptied my pockets and threw everything into the bucket as instructed. Went through, all was well. Evan's belt buckle (smaller than mine) kept setting it off so he got a hand-wand search. We collected our stuff and went through. Only then did I realize in my other pocket I still had a pack of 4-AA batteries. Nice job by the metal detector. Fail. They were handing out Pepsi Max Zero for free on the way in.

We then went to the port-a-john which was repulsive by any description. I only mention it because you figure the NFL which is so image conscious, might have had someone there to clean them. After that, I showed Evan the Super Bowl Ring collection (see ProBowl post). We meandered about, watched the tail end of the Daughtry concert (from behind the stage as we didn't have a ticket). Next we went into the ~~shlock shop~~ merchandise store. Sadly they had nothing left in my size. Judging by the $35 t-shirts, $80 and $130 polo-shirts, and $150 hoodies, and $600 jackets walking out the door, you'd never know the economy was in bad shape.

After that we went into the stadium where our tickets were check again. We wandered a lap around the lower bowl peeked out into the Stadium and shot some photos. I found an $80 shirt in my size that should have cost $25 tops but I bought it anyway. Then after that, we went up to our bowl where we took a lap or two. A number of Saints fans were thanking us for our city showing them hospitality. (I should mention that we didn't coordinate it but both wore Dolphins stuff -- maybe 20 people in the arena did). I like the Saints fans and it's cool to hear those Cajun accents.We eventually worked our way to our respective seats.

In the arena, they showed a tape of parts of the Daughtry concert and also the Steve Winwood concert. Later, there were warm-ups and finally Queen Latifah came out and sang American the Beautiful. She was followed by Carrie Underwood performing the National Anthem. So boring a singer is she. They should have reversed them. That was followed by a fly-over by F18's (I think they were anyway). Then kickoff. One fan mentioned the stars were aligned for a New Orleans win, and I hoped he was right.

We were in the Saints half of the stadium -- most of the tickets clearly went to the Saints organization. Maybe 90/10 Saints fans. Oddly, in the Colts section it was 70/30 so the stadium was very Saint heavy. I never want to hear ""Who dat? Who dat? Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints? Who dat? Who dat?" again. Ever. Seriously. The guy next to me (left) was ornery as hell. He became more and more friendly as he consumed more and more beer. I think his wife grew jealous because as he got drunker and drunker he kept hugging me (something I don't like strangers to do). She was pregnant and he was very happy I gave her my fries when she got tired of the glacial concession lines. On the right side I had two Eagles fans. I mentioned my long-suffering friend Tom and we talked Jeff Feagles, Pumpy Tudors, and Donovan McNabb.

Q: Why is Donovan McNabb always shown eating his Campbells Chunky Soup straight from the can?
A: Because he chokes every time he gets close to a Bowl!

Thanks to the Eagles fan for that fine joke. Halftime was The Who in a spectacular light, laser, and fireworks show. Evan and I took lots of pictures and I'm glad he did too because this is when my batteries died and replacing them in the dark was difficult. Two minutes may not sound long but for a ten minute show it is.

The Saints decided to play football the second half, thank the football gods. Their defense was still weak but overall it was a more balanced game. If their defense had played harder it could have been a blowout. I felt very detached from the whole game and it was a bit tiring since our entire section stood the entire game. As the game ended, with about 30 second to go, Evan and I headed down stairs trying to stay in sight of each other as we made our respective ways to the down ramp. We made it to the bottom of the stadium ramp at about 10pm and ran to the car. Because of some fancy and possibly illegal driving we got home before 11pm.

I'm tired so I'm not posting more but thought I'd get that first post out there.

Never Get Into A Battle of Wits With An Unarmed Opponent

2010-02-04T20:49:00.000-05:00

I'll say it again. Most hockey fans in South Florida are bags of wind who don't know shit. Some are very knowledgeable (Bill M) whose Facebook page this came from. Bill and I often agree and sometimes don't. But he knows what he's talking about. I've removed all last names except mine and the idiot I wish to mock. I've also removed posts unrelated to the topic at hand. But what's here is not edited.

A good fan of any sport will make impassioned statements of opinion. That's cool. You should. Sports journalism is somewhere you actually get to throw opinion into your story. I'm all for it, and when I wrote for LCS I did the same thing. However, if you're going to state something as a fact, you best be ready to back it up. And if you're going to issue a challenge, you better make sure you have it right.

I took umbrage at Shawn Morin's statement because it's a direct attack on me and my integrity. Fortunately, Shawn is a blowhard with, apparently, no hockey knowledge because he'd have kept his mouth shut if he had any. So I've marked in purple where he insults me. Now, you will see I have included opinions that do not agree with my own, because not everyone agrees with me. I don't mind that. But Shawn opened his mouth. Then, he throws down the gauntlet of a challenge also marked in purple. Conveniently, because he's a lazy fan, he didn't do any research at all. First, as a writer, I could use my own name as a legitimate reply to his absurdist statement. But, it so happens I had recently made fun of J-Blow's work ethic -- he's a lazy player, plain and simple, and his hockey sense is often weak -- and in that I had referred to a writer at CBS Sports who had the same opinion. That's a second writer and the one I used to shut his sorry ass up. Of course, that writer referred to another writer at TSN who also had similar comments.

So, Shawn Morin is the exact sort of sports fan that makes people in Florida look like asses. As much as I hate fans of the Rangers (or Leafs and so on), I just don't have this sort of problems with them. We never agree but I can have an intelligent conversation with them. It's sad because he's not alone. I'm picking on him because he happened to open his mouth and spew his ill-informed thoughts at me. I use the term "thoughts" loosely. I find hockey fans in this market to be generally either Pollyannas with no grip on reality, or worse blowhards full of 'facts' that just aren't facts. It's why most fans in our market are blasted, and they are right. I would like to offer up Shawn as a sacrifice.

Bill M: All you Panthers fans trashing Jay Bouwmeester and wishing him ill-will upon his return are playing right into his hand. I say kill him with kindness. Or better yet, indifference. Let's treat him like just another random visiting player. After all, that's all he is. We have much bigger concerns around here.
Evan B: Sorry Bill, we upgraded our seats in order to trash the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
Murphy B: I felt bad about sincerely wanting to boo him down the stretch last season when he tanked on us... I am booing him with a clear conscience tomorrow night. No disrespect meant to anyone.
Josh B: When he was a panther, he was a customer at the drycleaner I work at. He attempted to run me over with his pickup truck once because his suit had a stain we couldn't get out. Ever since then I've been booing him. Even when he was on the panthers
Brian M: Yeah but I would run ya over if I had the chance and you never touched my clothes lol. But to the point. Like him or not he is a very good player and was a big part of the good play we had last season. I'm with Bill on this one. Moving on like he did was just business.
Eric Seiden: @MurphyB unlike you My disrespect to J-Blow is intended and I'm proud of it. @BillM treating him like this is returning the favour he paid us by not making any effort to play in our playoff run @Brian, sorry dude. You're totally wrong. He's not a good player which makes the heckling feel all that much the better.
Shawn Morin: Eric if you don't think jay is a good defenseman then how can anyone take anything you say seriously... (There's where the idiot opens his mouth to insult me)
Dylan R: i think hes a great player.. but he is full of himself.. quit on the team.. as did Martin the GM last year did. cowardly acts. im sorry.. but .. .like any other fans or players that come to town.. hes gonna be another one to bite the dust as the song goes.
Bill M: I'm disagreeing with you that he "tanked" on us last season. That's ridiculous. Underachieved? Yes. But the whole team failed to come through under the pressure and the heated competition. Playing poorly on purpose would be a physically dangerous thing to do. I don't think he did that.
Eric Seiden: @Shawn, lots of people do. That you don't is your problem. However I don't feel the need to insult you. Jay's stats speak for themselves. Look 'em up. He's an underachieving, whiny, marshmallow. @BillM I didn't say he tanked. I said he didn't make any effort. In fact I can't say that he did anything.
Shawn Morin: Eric. Find me a hockey writer who thinks jay bouwmeester is a bad defenseman. And the panthers lost the playoffs in Nov-Dec last season. (Here's the idiot's challenge)
Eric Seiden: @Shawn URL HERE (There. CBS Sports. I accept your apology, Shawn.) If you want to argue hockey, we can. But Mr Murphy's blog isn't the place. There's plenty more to back my side but you said to find one. I didn't even need to look further than my OWN writings to find links. Oh, yeah, I was a sports writer for three years. BTW, Brown's article links to others.

Yeah, so there ya' go. The nice thing about a personal blog is I get to rip on idiots. Shawn Morin is an idiot. I've stopped reading that thread and I certainly apologize to BillM for anything in that which may have bothered him. In theory, Shawn is his friend which is why I walked away after my last post. Unfortunately, I should have never gotten into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. (Yeah, never piss off a writer, especially one with an audience. Ask Alan Price.)

I heard back from Roto-Rooter today. I got a very, very long apology. They explained what went wrong and said they'd be willing to send someone out at a specific time. I declined -- had they offered me a hefty discount I might have reconsidered. I explained "never again" means what I said. What I did find commendable was that they actually listened to the recorded conversations that I had. They know what went wrong and who was responsible. And they definitely agree that their response to "I'm calling to cancel" which was "okay" was most certainly not okay. They thanked me for complaining so they could fix it so nobody would ever go through that again, and we had a brief discussion about the SuperBowl.

Speaking of the SuperBowl I have a ticket. I am going. No idea why I'm putting myself through that ordeal, but I will have fun. Especially if the Colts lose. Geaux Saints (dedicated to CAT).

Panthers Autograph Session (And Idiot Roofers)

2010-02-03T21:57:00.000-05:00

First, I had a fight at work today with Murton Roofing. I was already in a bad mood because of last night's incompetence with Roto-Rooter*. We have a roof at work that was installed 2004 by Murton Roofing. It has a 20 year warranty (2 years with Murton and the rest with GAF who made the roof). We also had that extended by five years by having a special inspection done to get their diamond protection. A year ago, the seam / expansion joint had a leak and it was fixed in April 2009 by Murton. The roof started leaking again Monday in the same spot. The roof is under warranty. We called GAF. They sent Murton out to look at the problem. So far everything's okay.

The inspector guy comes down with his digital camera and shows me pictures of the seam and it's clearly a mess. He agrees it's a mess. He says, it's not covered. Why? Wait. Wait. Wait. Because whomever fixed it last time did a really bad job and they won't fix work done by other people. I explained to them that nobody else has done work and why would we pay someone else to do work on a roof that is pretty new and covered by a warranty. Logic doesn't work well on stupid people, apparently. He said his boss would call me to discuss it.

We called GAF and their response is that they were told Murton didn't do the shoddy work. Unfortunately for Murton we have a copy of their work order proving they did. Only, despite promises, nobody at Murton has called us for two days. This is beyond my ability to understand. I gave it to the lawyer and said "sic 'em" -- we need to slap them down now so they understand I have zero tolerance for stupidity. Seriously, they make Bush Junior look like a rocket scientist. You all know me. How often am I at a loss for words?

Still no Super Bowl tickets. Face value or I ain't going. I'm close though.

Back to normal news. Today was the official autograph session for the Florida Panthers. Much like last year's this was remarkably well organized. As last year there were some food give-aways (chips and ice cream).

You came in (opened a bit late), walked through Pantherland in case you wanted to spend money, then checked in. I checked in my group of one and Greg's kids while he bought a poster to be signed. They give you a team magazine to use to collect autographs. We were near the front of the line so it went pretty quick. This year the players were in numerical order instead of alphabetical because that's how the magazine was ordered.

They started the actual signing a few minutes early (yay) and you could have one personal item to have signed in addition to your magazine. My official one item was the Clemmensen gloves (picture now on Flickr) but I was wearing a plain hat and my Vokun jersey. I got all the players to sign the magazine and the hat except for the two goalies mentioned before where they signed my item only. I got Vokun to sign my jersey after I took it off at his table -- actually it was a re-sign since his old signature had faded away. I put it back on. Clemmensen was pretty happy to see I had bought his gloves and actually hauled them back for him to sign. I only asked him to sign one, but he volunteered to sign both of them without me asking so I took the other out of the bag. I explained they made me buy the set. He told me how he had them custom made and we talked for a moment before being shooed along.

Most of the players were friendly, chatty, and signing full names when we came in. I'm sure the autographs would continue to get messier. There were some 500 people there (2 signatures per person mind you). A few were less chatty, other awkward, and some bored. Only one was downright surly. I tried to give most of the guys some happy words of encouragement. I made sure I thanked every single player -- sadly many fans didn't. Done from time in to time out in about 40 minutes.

Greg decided to terrorize the last signer in line: Stanley C Panther, the mascot. He asked for a hug and Stanley clicked his fingers together as if expecting money. Greg said "but that makes you a prostitute" and I threw in, "No, that makes you an ice cat**." Stanley laughed. I got my program signed and asked him, again, why he doesn't skate. He got frustrated and wrote me a note saying I must not come to all the games. I said I mostly did and only saw him skate once. He signed my program on the cover too, we shook hands and that was that. (The whole Stanley bit was caught by the official videographer.)

Then I stood in line next to John and Liz (who were about 30 people behind us) and chatted with them as they waited their turns. Liz forgot to torment Barky*** about his picture. We left and went to Stevie-B's for dinner and ran into DavidW from my message board. After that we went to Ice Cream Club, then parted company. And traffic wasn't the nightmare it would have otherwise been.

Then we have this link of the twelve most insane things you can buy on the Internet. They are crazy, but I'm sure we can all think of worse. Maybe.

And the greatest quote of its kind: "I wish my lawn were emo so it would cut itself." That is just perfectly awesome. I wish I knew who really made this one up.

* Shout out to Andy Marquez for offering up his plumber. Hopefully he'll squeeze me in tomorrow. Roto-Rooter did reply to my testy email. "You can expect to hear from XXXX or someone from his office within the next two business days. I hope this can be resolved to your satisfaction." If they don't go out of business, I can't imagine they will do anything to my satisfaction. I'm going to pay someone else -- even if it's more -- because they suck.
** Many people have impugned the Ice Cats (our "cheerleaders") and made comments about them. Thanks to Evan we now know you can, indeed, buy them by the hour as many have long suspected. Here's a scan from the Panthers themselves as proof.
*** Barky? If you're wondering what the deal with the famous Radek Dvorak avec chien picture is from which is nickname is derived, you can see it for yourself. This is the infamous photo in the 1999-2000 season calendar from the September page. I've scanned it in, cropped it, and added a caption. It was and is much talked about to this day.

Roto Rooter Sucks: DO NOT USE THEM

2010-02-02T22:38:00.002-05:00

This was just emailed to Roto-Rooter

Dear Sir/Madam/Etc:

You may notice it's 10:28pm as I write this. Why, you may ask? Good question since my appointment was at 530pm.

I called you guys on Saturday and set up an appointment for Tuesday from 530 to 730pm. I'm a long-time customer and I gave you, in advance, a list of all the work to be done. That would take about 3 hours.

I arranged to leave work early so I could be home in time and I arrived at 505pm. At 715pm or so you called and said he'd be 30 minutes late. I never got another update, so I called at 830pm, was put on hold for 9 minutes (my phone has a timer) and then disconnected. I called back and got apologies and was told he was running late. The apology was weak and I asked for a supervisor and spoke to a nice guy.

We spoke, I explained the situation. He apologized and said that the tech had to move a tub or something like that. (You only have one tech?) He aid the guy was the same one who did my last job and that made me happy. He said he'd find out the story and an ETA and call me back.

He didn't call me back but he had a lady call me and say the guy was wrapping up and on his way. It's 1028pm. Nobody came and at 1015pm I called you and said I wanted to cancel. The lady said "do you want to reschedule" and I said "I'll never use you again." Her reply "Okay"

That is some fine, upstanding, excellent customer service. I am sure you're proud of it. Tomorrow, I will call a reputable plumber who will show up. And I will never use you again. The best part is I will tell everyone how excellent your service is. (And since I decide on the plumbing contractor we use at work, you've lost my company's business too. Lucky you -- two for the price of one.)

You know, I understand 'shit happens' -- but Roto Rooter is a national chain. They show (via Google) over a half-dozen offices in Dade and Broward county. They only have one technician working? ONE? They have nobody who can call regularly with status updates? They think sending someone after 10pm to do 3+ hours worth of work is a good idea? Why would anyone put their trust in these folks? (I don't impugn the quality of their actual work, mind you -- just their customer 'care' attitude.)

I'm looking for a plumber that doesn't suck. If you live in South Florida and can recommend one, email me. I will, otherwise, begin my search tomorrow. I am very irritated.

What is the purpose of an appointment with a two hour window when they're three hours late and still haven't shown when I cancel? Why is it my job to keep calling them to find out where the tech is? Why is that okay?

In happier news, Ed Rice shares this URL with me entitled "The Greatest Story Ever Told" -- good for a laugh. And relating to my often amusement with Led Zeppelin fans, I present The Onion's take on the Led Zeppelin's fanatical fan base. Good for a laugh also.

In other great amusing things "Team Logo Urinal Pucks" when used as a Yahoo Canada search term lists my blog as number one. Well, at least Michael Yormark will be pleased. This blog is rated number one in some useful areas, "Led Zeppelin Sucks" being one of them (they don't suck for the record) as well as some medical posts and other things. That one, however, is just very amusing.

I posted a Pro Bowl picture of Karen and myself over at Flickr for those interested.

Weekend Update (Slightly Late)

2010-02-02T10:55:00.000-05:00

I saw the Pro Bowl Sunday. Let me tell you how fun it was. ..... Well, there ya' go. It was an experience that doesn't come around very often, so I felt obligated to try it once. The tickets were relatively inexpensive, my seats were good, and I wanted to see what it was about.

Evan's Blog sums it up nicely. Since we went together, it'll save me a lot of typing. Karen and I left about 10 minutes before Evan. And another thought on Shane's backpack. Shane is 6 and while he's been known to terrorize people, he's not a terrorist threat. Oddly, inside the gate if you bought a program (I didn't) it came with a free HUGE tote-bag. The point being, they opened Shane's backpack, every single pocket, found nothing in it of any issue. Then they told his parents he couldn't bring it in. Absolutely stupid.

The "Fan Experience" was boring as all Hell. There were a few neat things, though. They had the Vince Lombardi trophy. Never saw it in person before. Unlike the Stanley Cup, they don't let you close to it so you can't touch it or take your picture with it. And it's ugly. They had a nice exhibit on the history of the ball itself, the NFL logo, and they had one of every SuperBowl ring. That was some impressive hardware. Other than that, my experience matches Evan's so read his blog post. Now that I know what happened beforehand, I know why he was Mister Grouchy Pants. After I got home I read half of my new book Iorich the new Steven Brust masterpiece in the Vlad Taltos trilogy until I couldn't keep my eyes open.

I won't discuss the Monday night Panthers loss as it was sad. At least we played hockey and lost as opposed to our usual losing. We still have some tickets for our special group outing to give Jay Bouwmeester (J-Blow) a very special welcome home.

After the game, I came home and finished reading Iorich. I did that at the expense of sleep but it was well worth it. This, the twelfth Vlad book, is one of my favourites. It's a light read, to be sure, but it's got lots of personality and Vlad is very 'himself' and Brust is in his groove. We also get to spend a little time with Vlad's son and get to know him. I'm getting a huge sense he's going to be a major character in the next book or two. I'll avoid spoilers except to say Vlad survives the novel so you know the assassins on his tail will still be at it come the next book. I rather enjoyed the chapter openings which are part of military investigation. Also, Brust, in a witty mood to be sure has included "deleted scenes" in the back of the book. Nice touch. Adds nothing, but still.

I still have House and Heroes on my Ti-Faux. And I'll add Lost to what's sitting there since I'm going to spend many hours tonight as the plumber works in my house. More on that later.

Many years after Concorde's fateful crash that took the plane out of the sky, manslaughter trial against Continental Airlines has opened in France. The claim being a Continental plane that was not properly repaired dropped a scrap of metal on the runway which punctured Concorde's tire and that steel belted tire blew apart, puncturing the fuel tank causing the fire. That ultimately led to Concorde no longer flying. Continental claims they can prove the plane was in flames before it hit the piece of metal. (There is no defense that the piece of metal was there. Only whether it was the precipitating cause.) BBC News reports with all sorts of related links.

I wasn't posting this until I was done but Sue is badgering me.

Rick Rolling On The Subway Floor With a Chicken

2010-01-29T20:32:00.002-05:00

We'll start with technical stuff. I have patched the Firefox extension Timetracker 1.2.5 to work with Firefox 3.6 -- there was no work done to the code. I fixed the version check line and added a 1 to the version so it read 1.2.51 but it appears to work fine. So if you're waiting to upgrade to 3.6 now you don't have to. It's available for download here. This, like the original, is public domain but all I ask you link to this blog post and not directly to the file, this way if I make changes and the file name changes your link won't break. In an amusing note, after sitting dormant for a long, long time (years), after I made Googlebar work the original author suddenly came out of the woodwork and released a new version. I guess he didn't like someone else messing with his abandoned work. I'm glad. This really isn't my thing. I would encourage everyone to go get the real one and not the hacked one I made.

In more interesting news, a voice from the past contacted me looking to buy my Manatees practice jersey. Not decided on how that will pan out yet, but it was serendipitous because the next day I was looking for a file I had lost and thought I had backed up to a zip cartridge aeons ago. I found the file (yawn) and also found my original Miami Manatees WHA2 web page. I pulled it mid-season when Waronker, the arsemunch, showed his true colours because I had no desire to support someone who makes Michael Yormark look like a beloved saint. I've decided for posterity it should be reinstated, so that's what I've done. I am sure there are errors and omissions and I would encourage anyone who can add to this to e-mail me directly. The pages are here. They aren't in the Google index yet, but I suppose they might be at some point. (There's a photo with a much younger me, Karen, and Timmy which may have been the coolest surprise find.)

I also have a bunch of videos for your amusement:

First, we have "We Didn't Start The Flame-War" which is a 3 minute video set to the tune of Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire. If you're an Internet Geek you will absolutely love this video. I've watched it four times because it's so relevant. Sadly, I have experience in this sort of thing. No comment.
Second, we have Nick Pitera's cover of Journey's legendary Don't Stop Believin' which is remarkable for one thing and one thing only. He recorded it twice -- singing both the male part and female part as done in the TV series Glee -- and then ran them together. The result is remarkable. Seriously.
Lastly, I hate Rick-Rolling. Hate. Hate. Hate. Only when someone does it live, to a Evangelical Christian television station and the first guy doesn't get what's happening, then, well, it's pretty funny. Kudos to the host who did get it for handling it gracefully.

That should cheer the lot of you up. At least if you have an odd sense of humour like me. And by odd, I mean a story like this amuses me. "New York City's transit agency is investigating a video posted online that shows a man kissing and snuggling a live chicken aboard a subway." That link is to the story and not the video which I do not want to see.

And lastly, Delta sucks. I am getting really tired of the run-around. After over 10 years, I removed my recommendation of them from my personal page on my website. While I was there, I also updated it because it hasn't been touched in quite a long time. I am certain there are lots of typos.

Lastly, whenever you think my blog isn't subversive, sublime, or funny enough, I direct you to this URL which is a really, really funny blog entry. And oddly, you may wish to read it right after viewing the Flame-War video mentioned above. Allow some time because the comments are almost as funny as the original post. I'm sure this won't be appreciated by everyone because it's definitely a bit skewed toward geek humour, but as far as I'm concerned, that's a good thing.

JD Salinger Buys an iPad. Not.

2010-01-28T20:13:00.000-05:00

First, RIP to legendary author and recluse Jerome David Salinger who died today. In an AP story today humorist John Hodgman was quoted as saying, "I prefer to think JD Salinger has just decided to become extra reclusive." Mr Salinger was most famous for introducing world to Holden Caulfield.

Next up, a quick nod to all my Lost fan friends who will appreciate this link that I got from Sue. It pretty much sums up all of our questions. Not only is it done to the tune of Petula Clarke's Downtown making it very catchy, but it's very cleverly done. The complete lyrics can be seen in the "more info" section of the video's description. I love Lost and am excited about its return.

I have been listening to music today. First Monkey: Journey Into The West which was done by the same people as Gorillaz. I still want to see the play in spite of the fact I cannot say I enjoyed the music thoroughly. It was a like a watered-down Cirque production. I am now in the middle of TSO's overwrought Night Castle which I am enjoying a lot more though it's very uneven. After such a long wait, I expected more. This very well could be my favourite album of theirs. After a second listen, I'll know for sure. Then again so did people who bought Guns-N-Roses Chinese Democracy.

I have no new news on the Nucor front but had to share a link to this post about a prospective Nucor job-seeker. It's all to be taken with a grain of salt but this quote stood out "It's a stressful, fast-paced, and dangerous culture driven by greed more than anything else, so be careful if you do get on."*

The buzz about ~~iPad~~ iTampon continues to be mixed and the buzz about the name continues to be universally derisive. However, there's a new survey that portends ill for Apple. You can have a great name and make a lacklustre product do well. You can have a poor name and a great product break free. But can you have a horrible name and an average product and expect to do well? Not likely. Before you click on the link keep in mind that this site is populated almost entirely by Apple's most loyal and faithful customers: people who are predisposed to by the iPad. Only 54% said they would be getting the iSlate, er, iTablet, er iPad with a full 46% giving a flat-out no answer. This might be an Apple failure in the making, like the Apple TV which has yet to penetrate any market in any noticeable way.

And for my friends with a fascination for all sports Canadian from hockey to curling and the CFL, here's an official Canadian government website with a collection of links.

Reminder: if you like this blog and wish it to continue, your help is needed in order to get us transitioned to new blogging software. Otherwise I cannot guarantee this blog will continue.

* Fixed punctuation, spelling, and syntax.

Hockey Hubris, The Florida Panthers, the iPad (iTampon?), and Avatar

2010-01-27T19:32:00.000-05:00

I am using the word hubris only because Murphy used it in his recent blog entry. It's an unusual word and if he can use hockey and hubris in a blog post, so can I. I am going to talk about hockey as it turns out.

EASTERN CONFERENCE (NHL: National Hockey League)
These are based on statistics as of the close of business Tuesday, 26 Jan 2010
1. Capitals 74
2. New Jersey 69
3. Pittsburgh 67
4. Buffalo 67
5. Ottawa 62

6. Flyers 55
7. Rangers 55
8. Panthers 55
9. Canadiens 55

10. Bruins 54
11. Thrashers 54
12. Isles 54

13. Lightning 52
14. Leafs 44
15. Hurricanes 39

If the playoffs were held right now, my team, the Florida Panthers, would be in it. Yay, team! Had they lost last night against the Canadiens, we'd have been in 13th place instead of 8th place -- eighth being the final playoff position. That tells you how close the standings are. The Panthers are in a four way tie for 55 points (tiebreakers control the order teams are listed) and there are three more teams just one point behind us. That's a total of six teams that can win today or tomorrow and be ahead of us in the standings. Further, tonight, if the Lightning versus the Canadiens game is won by the Bolts, they'll be in that second group with fifty four points, adding a seventh team to the mix.

Hockey Point System For Non-Fans: If you're not a hockey fan, a regulation win gets you two points. So if you have 54 points, win a game, you have 56 points. If you go into overtime you get one point -- something that is really fucking stupid -- even if you lose the game. Ties were abolished in favour of a shootout -- proving the NHL could fuck up a wet dream. But, I digress.

The saving grace is no matter what happens this season, we'll not finish in the final two spots (14 and 15) because we're better than that. And we're only a seven points out of fifth place and five points out of thirteenth place -- that may be a record for tight grouping nearly two-thirds of the way into the season. All this assumes nobody in front of us wins which is an absurdist condition. Our divisional record is an abysmal 6-7-2*. To avoid sounding like a Pollyana here, I must point out the only reason the Panthers doing so well there are seven teams (basically half of the conferfence) within two points of us.

(A brief word on the West: if you take out the anaemic Oilers pretty much every team in the Western Conference would rank at or higher than the Panthers. Even Minnesota, which is the subject of ridicule, has 54 points to keep it all in perspective.)

The Panthers are a team that has huge potential. But we're not using it. Our destiny is in our hands. We stand on the brink of a golden opportunity for the future that lies before us or on the brink of a chasm from which we may spend a decade returning. This lies within the hands of the players themselves. It's not coaching (DeBoer is a good coach), it's not ownership (hmph), it's not the referees fault (they suck anyway), and it's not even the fan base's fault (speaking of sucky fans welcome to Sports Hell).

The Panthers have made their bed with some spectacularly bad collapses, lazy efforts, and all around suckitude, and let's be clear: I'm not happy where we are. So many blown games are the primary reason we're not a top point team. But that's the difference: good teams don't consistently blow multi-point leads.

We beat Toronto a few nights ago because Toronto sucks worse than we do. But it wasn't an enjoyable game to watch. It was like watching you play your lazy older brother who wasn't really even trying. Our effort had we played a better team would not have resulted in a win. Let's not even mention the goalie, Tomas Vokun: he's the only reason we're not behind Carolina sucking up last place.

Honestly, it all comes down to consistency. That's not something you can coach. That's something you do as a team. Which road will the team take? History is not on our side but I hope (HAH!) this is the year we take our own destiny into our hands. This differentiates the bad, the average, the good, and the great teams. It shows your character. The Panthers have a date with destiny. The question is, will the Panthers show up?

To quickly change the subject, this video is a riot. We have the TSA and now Rick Mercer has this security video mocking(?) Transport Canada's security:

It's a short video and well worth your time if you need a good laugh at the expense of airline 'security'.

Next up, I must mock the iPad. I love Apple. I am a Mac-head. The iPad, when I first heard the name some time ago, is poorly named. I assumed it must have been a joke. I mean, seriously, why would you name a product after a feminine hygiene product? I thought my amusing comment was original but apparently many people besides myself got the same wrong idea. This (thanks FailBlog) is what happens when people are afraid to stand up to Steve Jobs:

Let me be honest. When I heard they were coming out with a f~~eminine hygiene product~~ tablet, I was sure they'd call it the iSlate. A great name, conveys what it is, and there's far less room for rude product names. Or maybe even the iTablet. But no: we have the iPad. The worst product name Apple's ever come out with.

The iPad is well designed from all appearances, meeting Apple's awesome visual standards. It's easy to use because everything Apple does is easy to use. I will admit that I have no idea why this product exists. I don't know who the market is outside of the geek set who will want it because it's new and cool. I love technology, but I really do need it to serve some sort of purpose. I love books but I don't want an e-reader. I don't have a Kindle and this doesn't make me want one. It's a computer of sorts -- but with limited functionality -- and quite frankly, I'd rather have a laptop. Add a touch screen to a laptop or netbook and that's what this is. What is the revolution? Why does iPad exist? Listen, can we just call it iTampon because Steve Jobs apparently was having his period when this was designed? Would that offend anyone? No? Good.

A little bit of news on Avatar. It has officially become the highest grossing film ever, passing Titanic, a record nobody thought was beatable. The news article is here. Only I'm sure you'll all remember a few days ago in my blog I pointed out how that the real champion remains Gone With The Wind. The article, happily, acknowledges that. Earning $189 million when tickets are averaging a dime is far more impressive than earning $1.3 billion when tickets are averaging $15 per admission. Avatar still impresses at equalized dollars, but it's at 26 on the all-time list by that standard. I have nothing against Avatar and enjoyed it (see review elsewhere in this blog), but it's being made to be bigger than it really is. Seriously, use the equalizer link to see how movies really rate (2009 domestic dollar version).

Lastly, I mentioned Dean before. I have been officially Simpsonized by him:

I will post a full-sized, full-resolution version soon. This tiny preview is for your amusement. This is the second draft. He's amazingly good and the only changes we made were my hair colour and changing shoes to skates. We made a slight alteration to the jersey neckline because it's supposed to be yellow but the shade matched the avatar's skin so it was adjusted for practical reasons. I am deeply pleased with the results and you'll be seeing more of Yellow Me around.

* or 6-7, as I deny the existence of the 2 in accordance with my beliefs that shootouts are bad.

You're Fat

2010-01-25T19:33:00.001-05:00

You're fat**. That's what so many people feel, myself included. Obesity is on the rise in the developed world and that's no secret nor is it even in dispute. The reasons, on the other hand, are. Many people have long suspected the introduction of high-fructose corn syrup is the leading cause of girth. I'm not a medical professional but I would tend to agree.

Let it be said, I hate high-fructose corn syrup. It doesn't taste the same, and the recent re-issue of Pepsi, Coca-Cola, and Doctor Pepper in throwback forms (ie: made with sugar like they used to be) proves it. For years, as a kid, I was a book worm, drank tons of soda and was not fat. I exercise more as an adult than I did as a kid, drink less soda and now, I'm not-so-pleasingly plump.

I also admit to being one of those freaks that can easily tell the difference between Coke, Pepsi, and RC with a blindfold and tell you if it's made with sugar or corn syrup. It's not hard in the US formulations because Coke and Pepsi you can tell the difference with your tongue because of the bubble size and density, and RC has a different 'bite' to it. Me, I can tell by the taste and am shocked many people say they can't. Pepsi tastes like malted battery acid* and RC makes you have a primal urge for a banana Moon-Pie.

High-fructose corn syrup has an aftertaste that sugar doesn't, and it rolls differently off your tongue because it doesn't mix with the bubbles the same way. There's a demand for these throwback sodas and not just for Passover so I am not alone in my derision of the 'new' sugar-free formulae.

Oh, wait, I got off track. Anyway, high-fructose corn syrup tastes like shite. This article discusses the rise of obesity and ties it to the obsession with fat content to the exclusion of all else. As even my own doctor says FAT IS NOT INHERENTLY BAD.

Thanks to my friend Scott for this URL. As a kid I was into video games -- being older I refer to those in the arcade which took quarters and not the kind you plug into your television. Two of my favourites were Missile Command which I was pretty awesome at in the day and Marble Madness. When it comes to the latter game, it actually had a planned ending. I never knew that until I saw the video Scott sent. More importantly, the guy beat the entire game in 3m 15s. Seriously. I used to play for 5 or 6 minutes and only once did I even make it to the 'reverse' level.

A tip o' the Pork Pie to Josh who I spent some time with Sunday. It was nice after so long. A pair of photos are posted over at Flickr. I'm glad he's my friend.

A Mac item for you desktop users. For years I used a Matias Tactile Pro 2 keyboard until it decided to type between 3 and 5 of everything and otherwise randomly be possessed by the devil. They had no more to replace it, so they gave me a partial refund -- still feel it should have been a full refund, but that's past history. I pre-ordered the new Tactile Pro 3 version and it arrived about ten days ago. Sadly, it was DOA due a faulty solder leaving me quite discouraged. The 3/E/D/C keys didn't work and as you can see, they're in a straight line and there's a circuit board trace right under it. I spoke to them and they sent a replacement right off and I returned the old one to Canada (and I received a refund check for the shipping). So I've been using the new one all day and I think I'm in love. My favourite keyboard of all time was the original IBM PC keyboard (3151 terminal keyboard basically) where every single key has a mechanical switch and goes "click" as you type. They're pretty indestructible. This one's just awesome. If you have Mac I would encourage you to check this out even though it's expensive. They have free PC drivers too if you want to use it with a *gasp* Windoze machine.

Lastly, our Exalted Leader is now issuing spiffy membership certificates to those who belong to the Umbrella Hat Society. Free. Do it.

* Thanks to Berkeley Breathed's Milo and Binkley for that.
** That's YOU'RE (you are) and not YOUR FAT. Moron. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.

Youth In Revolt (Movie Review)

2010-01-23T22:46:00.057-05:00

We started the day with breakfast at Original House of Pancakes where I got the Mandarin orange crepes. Karen got a bacon and egg sandwich on sourdough. She wanted a car wash so we went and waited while they washed it all. As they were drying it, a bird kept shitting on the roof because they parked it under a tree to dry it. Quite amusing.

I've loved this book ever since I read it and damn near everyone I've recommended it to has loved it too. It's hysterical, perverted, romantic, and just plain ole' fun. I think Michael Cera is a great actor and have liked him ever since I fell in love with Arrested Development (thanks Maury). I was really pre-disposed to like this movie. Only, sadly, I didn't.

The movie was awesomely cast and everyone was believable in their roles which was good because I didn't really buy Michael Cera as Nick Twisp, but he pulled it off. CD Payne wrote the book and he had a hand in the screenplay so I figured the book would be followed closely, just with stuff missing to fit in to the allotted time. I should have known there was trouble when I heard how short the movie was.

It started of perfectly, and while things weren't quite in order, it was true to the spirit of the book. A significantly scene with Lefty was cut and that thing in the book which set it all in motion was replaced with a far more stupid reason. François was well done. Then when they visit Sheeni in school, it falls apart. (They pull in and are clearly the only car in the circle, but as the camera pans, cars mysteriously are parked everywhere. In the room at night as they are going to bed, sunlight is hitting them full on. At night.) The movie gets sloppy with continuity like that. Worse, it stops following the book and goes to Hell quickly.

The acting was fine -- odd but in line with the book -- but the whole thing felt weird. There were random Claymation™ and animated sequences thrown in for no good reason. It was just uneven and not in a good way. Karen thought it was boring. Perhaps if I hadn't read the book I might have liked it better because it was still quite funny. It just isn't want this book's legacy deserved.

Afterward, we went to Rock And Roll Ribs, the new BBQ place owned by the drummer for Iron Maiden, Nicko McBrain. The service was absolutely horrific and if we hadn't had two hours to kill I'd have walked out. Twenty minutes and nobody came to our table and there are only fourteen tables and six waitresses. Brenda had to get up and ask for someone to come over and it still took five minutes. Not even an apology for not coming by. And it didn't get much better after that.

The food was not fantastic. I got my corn on the cob and it was still FROZEN SOLID. Yeah, they forgot to cook it. First, it's Florida and there is no excuse for frozen corn on the cob. None. They at least apologized for that. My meat was tough and stringy. The sauce was decent (sweet) and the regular was okay but a bit too peppery for my taste. I didn't try the tang sauce. Karen's baby backs were better than my brisket. Evan's spare ribs were much better and if I went back, that's what I'd get.

The atmosphere was great and that's everything you'd expect from a rocker. Tons of memoribilia and if you don't like metal, you won't like the soundtrack. Karen hated it. I didn't mind it though I'm not a big Iron Maiden fan so many of the songs didn't interest me. It was a tad too loud and it was hard to have a conversation, but they finally lowered it.

My desire to return is low not because the service is so bad, but when we complained, they just didn't care. We spent over $100 for our table (two checks) and that just isn't acceptable. Even a poorly run restaurant, the manager would have apologized and offered a free appetizer, drink, or desert. We didn't even get the apology and that is inexcusable.

After that we went to the mall to look around FYE Music (Karen got Kenny Loggins. EWWWW) Panther game and had a stellar win (if the Panthers win it's stellar). It sounds like a complaint filled day but we had a great time.

Blogger --> WordPress (Do you need a job?)

2010-01-22T19:54:00.000-05:00

This blog is published using Blogger (a Google company) but hosted on my own website so I can make sure things operate the way I want and not they way they want. This includes being able to fix individual files and graphics when they go wonky and such.

In March, just 60 days away, Blogger will no longer support FTP blogs hosted offsite. This means I need to find a second solution (also see this post from Blogger). Maybe someone out there knows how to make what I have (Dreamhost) work with their new hosted plan, but I am at a loss how to make it happen. I'd prefer it just because it's way less work, I keep all my Google rankings and traffic.

That solution needs to include:

Moving the complete blog to a new blogging format but keeping all posts and comments
Keeping the same URLs that already exist (to preserve page rank)
Keeping the blog's look about the same

I can actually install WordPress on my site. That's easy. I'd just set it up to run in a directory called "q2" until we had it working, then we can swap directory names. What needs to be done is:

A custom Wordpress theme
Conversion of all posts and comments
A lot of hand-holding and cleanup until it's debugged
Maybe help with some other stuff (scripts, etc)

The blog has over 800 posts representing nearly 100MB worth of files, and well over 1,000 comments (many of which are on just a few threads). This blog appears to be larger than the conversion tool Wordpress provides can handle. I've Googled extensively on this and it's overflowed with problems and there's questions as to whether it even works at all any more. Keep in mind you'll need to make sure it's a recent post as in early 2009 they changed how it all works. I don't really like Blogger so much any more but changing at this point seems to be quite a chore.

I need someone who's really good at what they do, and someone who is experienced at WordPress (and Blogger too ideally). This job will pay. I'm not asking for a freebie if we go the conversion route. Just let me know what's involved and what you think it would cost.

Hopefully someone out there thinks this blog is worth saving and can help.

Firefox 3.6 and Googlebar 0.9.15.14

2010-01-21T19:39:00.000-05:00

I upgraded to Firefox v3.6 today and so far am pleased, except Googlebar stopped working.
Googlebar is way, way, way better than the Official Googlebar put out by Google. Googlebar 0.9.15.14 stopped working way back with Firefox v3.1 but someone took it upon himself to patched it to work since the development team quit working on it after Firefox v3.0 came out. I was displeased to find that even though Googlebar 0.9.15.14 was supposed to work with Firefox v3.6, it didn't. Also, the person (or persons) who've updated it never changed the version number of Googlebar itself as they upgraded it, so there are a large number of different 0.9.15.14 versions floating about that work with varying versions of Firefox.

I couldn't abide not having Googlebar and waiting for someone else to figure out what was broken -- it's my most important extension except for Noia Extreme theme, so I deconstructed it and figured out what was busted (two whole lines of code) and have made it work. It's not fully tested and there may be glitches but this is as good as it gets and most of it seemed to work without problems. The version number has been changed to 0.9.15.15 so you can see that it's correctly installed and it should install right on top of the old version too.

I can't even promise this it'll work with anything past v3.6.x but if you want to try it, you can download it here for free (186k). This, like the original, is public domain but all I ask you link to this blog post and not directly to the file, this way when I make changes and the file name changes your link won't break.

There's an email circulating rapidly that says you can tell where something is made by looking at the first few digits of the UPC code. It's partially correct, but you can be very mislead. Please read this article at Snopes.com. Knowing country of origin is important, especially on foodstuffs and medicines, but make sure you know what you're looking at. Always, and I mean always, check out mass e-mails before sharing and commenting. Even I've been burnt. Check your facts.

Any of you car nuts (preferably local) have any experience installing this? I want to buy one for my car and give it a shot. (SEZW or SOEMBO) but I've never done this before. Comments, emails, etcetera all welcome.

Silly and Serious

2010-01-20T21:46:00.000-05:00

We'll start with silly. Dan Haun's ongoing efforts to be the number one contributor to my blog continue with his submission of "Charting The Beatles" As you may recollect I had mentioned before the flowchart of Hey Jude, well this is way beyond that. Rather enjoyable (once I used a utility for the visually impaired to make the screen large enough to read the tiny-type).

I follow many RSS feeds and rarely mention them here, but this picture from Fail Blog resulted in a real spit-take so I had to share it. Well worth a quick click. I won't even discuss the Late Night wars which are turning into something worse than Iraq but a whole lot funnier. Leno's getting the worst of it. While I don't watch him, someone told me even his own audience was sending boos his way. And he's going to be helming the legendary Tonight Show? Yeah. Right. As if.

A link for you MacHeads: Welcome to Macintosh is a documentary in which filmmakers Josh Rizzo and Rob Baca trace the evolution of Apple computers from the Apple-1 to the iPhone in this documentary. They combine criticism and history with an unapologetic celebration of the company that helped revolutionize home computing. The film is 80 minutes so if you're not patient or that interested, here is the trailer. Thanks to Erin for that URL -- her blog is back up again if you are into sports.

So on to serious. When Obama started running, I fully supported him, thinking he was going to bring change. And considering the disaster we had anything would be an improvement, and indeed Obama's an improvement. Then again, Hu Jintao (胡锦涛), would be an improvement over what we had so that's not saying much. I still like Obama. He means well and his heart's in the right place even if I don't agree with some of his policies (Health Insurance fiasco, for instance). What's my problem, then? I'm not sure what he's done. He made promises and most have not been kept, much like most other politicians so I'm not picking on him. And he's not screwed things up worse. I didn't expect a miracle fix to the economy -- and only idiots think there should have been one. Other than failed bailouts and cash-for-clunkers (another failure) I am hard pressed to tell you anything he's done with the exception of pulling our reputation as a country out of Satan's arse where Bush shoved it. It's a lot easier to be an American overseas now that Bush is gone. But as an American, I want our president to do something besides be a great speaker and look good on television and I don't have that many answers for critics. Would I have voted for McCain in retrospect? Not as long as Palin was running with him. But had he picked someone who wasn't so Cheney-like as his running mate, maybe so. I am discouraged for sure. I am told Biden is our vice-president, but he's scarcer than a 1913 Liberty Head V Nickel (or Walter Mondale, if that means nothing to you.)

Obama needs to get off his arse, stop worrying about the current Health Care plan and take care of all the other things he promised. He's only trying to run this through because it's a huge thing. It won't work as written, which I've said before. The bottom line is the people of this country don't want what he's proposed. The fact that the Kennedy seat was lost to a Republican in Massachusetts, the most liberal state in this country, proves Obama's going down the wrong path.

Bitches Deserving To Die

2010-01-19T19:59:00.001-05:00

Some people stain the planet by their mere presence. This bitch is one such miserable cretin who is a shit-stain on the reputation of humankind. The only justice in this would be that her own son finally turned her in after she forced her own children into torturing animals. If you like animals, you probably don't want to click that link. It's really upsetting. I'm just not going to talk about it further.

Traffic cameras are slowly working their way into select cities in Florida. In Florida, they are illegal so the cities found away around it. They issue civil violations and not traffic violations, so you get a ticket but no points. They claim it's to improve road safety, though everyone has long suspected and/or known it's really just to take more money out of your pocket. Politicians are scum -- it's a good basic starting to point to work from. So a special YAY to the mayor of Dalton, GA who removed the cameras in his city after coming to the same conclusion. This article in USA Today explains how cities increase their revenue by changing how long the yellow light lasts -- if that doesn't prove it's about the revenue, nothing goes. The first of these cameras was installed in Miami, this month. Expect more. Plantation, Sunrise, Weston, all have them as well. They're coming to you soon. Beware. Be aware.

The people in Haiti need many things, and I am pleased to report that Interstate Screw Corporation, where I work, sent in checks totalling $4,000 -- this includes employee and customer contributions plus our own matching funds on employee contributions. We sent half to the American Red Cross which provides food, shelter, clothing, and other supplies to people in need after a disaster. We sent the other half to Doctors Without Borders which supplies doctors and hospital supplies to places stricken by natural disasters. There are many charities helping Haiti, but these two are reputable and a very high portion of their fund-raising goes to the cause as opposed to more fund-raising. (If you want an embarrassing charity, check out your local PBA, many of which shovel nearly 80% of what they collect back into more fund-raising. Please, check your charities out before you donate.)

Speaking of things they need in Haiti, there's this link from Mark Fischel who offers some biting commentary on what they might do with these solar powered bibles in Haiti. Indeed, if you collected enough you could use them to build a roof. Sadly, they are not edible.

The Late Night Wars (O'Brien vs Leno, round 666) continue to amuse, though my desire to comment on them has shrunk considerably. This article talks about Jay Leno being "Mr Nice Guy No More" and then poses the question "was he ever?" -- a valid point to be sure. Read it and make your own conclusion. This video courtesy of John Carney, my resident source of most Late Night articles posted this YouTube video. I do not speak ~~Japanese~~ Chinese, nor do most of my readers. Although this 1m54s video is entirely in ~~Japanese~~ Chinese, I promise you that you will still manage to understand what is said. It's a serious news piece, but I laughed my way through:

Speaking of amusing videos, here's a second one that is the subject of much controversy by Kiwis. Air New Zealand produced some awesome safety videos under the tag "Bare Essential" using actual staff members wearing no clothes and body paint instead. They proved to be so popular around the world, commercials followed. Now there's this mystifying advertisement which is brilliant for 90 seconds and decided less so for the final minute and the sole reference is a link to their website at the end. The PC police are up in arms. I don't care one way or another, but it's worth mentioning here.

"Something, Something, Something, Dark Side" is the second instalment of Family Guy's retelling of Star Wars. The first one was awesome beyond all belief and was funny as hell even after repeated viewings. This one, not so much. It was amusing but not wet-your-pants funny. I'm not sure what to say on this. I wanted to like it and I didn't. Thomas, who watched it with me, agreed. It was just okay. As a direct-to-DVD release, I have to tell you to save your money and watch it free when they show it as a two-part episode at the end of this season. They're going to do the third one "We Have A Bad Feeling About This" though I am not optimistic after seeing this one.

Blu-Ray Phasers and Classic Advertising

2010-01-17T20:42:00.000-05:00

Today is laundry day. And it's also a football weekend. The Cowboys lost and that is an awesome thing because I hate them but on the other hand it was to Minnesota, who I used to like. Until they got Brett "Whiny Bitch" Farve, who I can't stand. The Jets and Colts both won and that sucks because I hate them. Arizona lost to New Orleans and I just don't care.

I got a new digital camera today and will shortly be giving away my old one to any friend that wants it. Details privately. It's not a big upgrade really, but it was a sweet deal on a new Kodak Z915 10MPX camera and my old one was a 7MPX Sony Cybershot DSC659 which has given me nearly four years of awesome service. So far my only complaint is that the Sony could mount directly on the Mac desktop and the Kodak can't which is a stupid design flaw, but I can fake it using Image Capture (standard on all Macs). While you can use iPhoto it won't let you add/delete pictures from the camera directly.

Paul is once again trying to get me to adopt one of his cats. I turned him down because I am still not ready for many reasons. Enough said. A shout out to Christin Keck who has had her book self-published though Amazon's CreateSpace. I haven't read either of these, but she's a good writer and tells a good tale. So you can check it out if you'd like. Another long piece, by way of John Carney, on the late-night wars which makes some salient points but mostly rambles on far too long. Just trying to give equal time to all sides on this topic. Suzie-Q shares this link which has tons of vintage Apple Computer ads (Apple I, II, IIc, and even one Mac ad. No Lisa, Apple /// or such ads though.) You may find it educational or reminder of your age. View at your own peril, though seeing how some of those people are dressed may be worth a click on your broadband connection.

Here's another cool link from Dan (I think). Someone took a model of a Classic Star Trek Phaser, and then installed a sound oscillator so it makes noise. After that they installed the optics from a Blu-Ray player and, voilà, you have a phaser that really works. This video shows it blowing balloons apart. You can do it at home, too. He's got links to the instructions from his website. Keep in mind that, in theory, weaponizing this, may be a serious crime in your jurisdiction. But the cool factor is awesome. Broadband recommended before clicking the instructional links.

I am so sick of you. That 'you' refers to those of you who continue to forward shit to me that's comprised of lies, mistruths, and so on. Any email that says "send this to XX people" is guaranteed to be a fraud. I always refer people to Snopes.com a fine bastion of unbiased facts on many of the items circulating in your inbox. I also send people to factcheck.org for the more pedestrian items. Sadly, even these sites are victim to the shite covering the internet. Here's a great article on factcheck.org about snopes.com -- keep in mind, both sites cite facts with references. Wikipedia is never acceptable as a source of "facts" because there are tons of errors, though it is extraordinarily useful in a general way.

Post 800 -- Rapture!

2010-01-15T19:31:00.000-05:00

This is, as far as my count shows, really post 800. I did a count and sync and I do believe this is the real deal. 800 posts and over 250,000 visitors. I think that makes my blog popular, though why continues to be a big mystery.

Today's first entry (all edited to preserve privacy) is stolen from a Facebook status entry for my friend Cheryl " 'I didn't know I needed permission to help people.' -- Michelle after being chastised by her teacher for not getting permission to sell the cookies and brownies she made to raise money to send to Haiti in response to their massive earthquake. PS: She made $90.00 in one day. I'm so proud of her." First, I'm proud of Cheryl's daughter too. The teacher, not so much. I replied "Good for her. Cheryl, might I suggest you call the principal and say something. What your daughter did should be commended and not chastised. I am glad you're proud of her and you need to back her up. The world needs more people like her and less of a teacher who would chastise a student for doing Good Work and the parents who obviously raised her properly."

I continue to watch the Late Night Wars and I have to stop as I am not getting enough sleep to function at work. The Wall Street Journal has weighed in with this gem of an essay. They go on to say why comics are no longer laughing at the Leno situation. And quite frankly, I completely understand. Leno is many things, but funny isn't one of them. At least not any more. Poor Johnny Carson is rolling over in his grave.

The Florida Panthers replaced their mini-Mascot. We have a full sized one and a small one. They looked basically the same. Now, not so much. This is a conglomeration of Evan's writing and mine: First they showed a video on the JumboTron of Mini Stanley getting sucked into the engine compartment of a Zamboni. After, he was rushed to the hospital and they showed him in surgery and then they briefly showed some sort of grey, scarred, macabre interim face before he was bandaged. After the surgery, they unveiled the new face. So, the character they invented to be less intimidating to kids has now scared them shitless by showing him in a "horrific" accident and coming out with zombie eyes and a Botox face. Evan's kid was so scared he couldn't sleep all night and Evan filed off a complaint to the Panthers. Mini Stanley thread here. It's not so much one small thing as the Panthers continue to shit on their fans day after day and the fans continue to take it. Our group has decided to draw a line in the sand. We'll see what happens. Keep up to date in this thread.

For those of you travelling into the United States, be prepared for even tighter security. The CBC is reporting that airlines are being notified by TSA to expect new even more stringent regulations to be imposed soon.

I mocked Pat Robertson the other day in my blog over his offensive and racist anti-Haiti comments. I figured he's always at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to that. He normally makes Rush Limbaugh look sane and normal. Well Rush has outdone himself and pretty much confirmed he's a racist, misanthropic, twat with his drivel. Even Rachel Maddow of MSNBC has proven to be a moron, though at least she's not a racist moron. Do these people have any clue? It's just repugnant to see how disgusting these 'people' are. I can't envision I come from the same species as these shit-spewing scum. With that preface here's a clip of John Stewart (of who I am not a big fan) commenting on video clips of all three of them.

A Compendium of Dreck and Pat Robertson (oh, wait, that's redundant)

2010-01-14T20:57:00.000-05:00

A collections of links will comprise the bulk of today's post. All sorts of items of interest (or things that I feel might be interesting.)

First, and foremost, we must discuss the horrible situation in Haiti. Interstate is, like we did after Katrina, taking employee contributions and matching them for the American Red Cross and/or Doctors Without Borders. We're doing a 4 to 1 match. (We are also collecting donations from customers at our walk-in counter but these are not subject to match.)

Click here to donate:

You can also donate to other charities from Google's special website here. And of course, there's the Red Cross too. I've included a clickable image link to their website. I am sad to report that you need to be careful as there are people trying to scam money from well-meaning citizens. It's why I now only link to the sites directly.

Let's start the regular part of the blog with my stupid-ass heater. The HVAC guy was right. Moments after my last post, the electrician called for me. There was a 10 Amp breaker which is fine for the AC unit. The heater, however, was drawing upwards of 29. He said I'm lucky the house down it was so hot. He let me touch the old breaker and damn it was hot and burned like hell. He replaced both breakers for upstairs and downstairs just to be safe. The charge is all in the labour as the parts are cheap. I also had him try to find out why my side light stopped working three years ago or so. I tried but never could figure it out. It wasn't the light. The switch inside the house that controlled it had gone bad. Duh.

In musical news, I'm a long-time, confirmed Beatles fan. So I got "Good Evening New York City" which is the new Paul McCartney CD. Music is less than well done. The vocals are, I am sad to report, especially miserable. I did not enjoy most of the first two discs -- not quite done and I'm listening in the background, but this is sad. I can't recommend this. Sorry.

While we're on the arts, here's a bit more on Avatar. I've always been entertained by how this movie or that movie is so successful. Then you have films like Avatar raking it in, but everyone forgets the ticket prices at Avatar are averaging near $15 due to the 3D showings which is damn near double the national average. Here's a list adjusted into 1939 dollars (you can change the year in the URL to see it adjusted for any given year's value). Gone With The Wind remains in first place by a comfortable margin. What most people don't know is that even if not adjusted for inflation GWTW record (1939, $189 million) wasn't broken until the Exorcist came out (1973, $232 million) -- 34 years. The fact that GWTW made all that money when tickets were sold for ten cents instead of ten dollars is all the more impressive. Avatar, when adjusted, is in 50th place. That's not bad, but it puts it in perspective.

Keeping in line with the arts, I've watched Conan's late night monologue for the past few days as it grows increasingly vitriolic. I am amused. Leno's becoming more whiney and Conan's bitterness is completely justified. I like John Carney's take on it in his blog.

Next up, we have Dean who does awesome Simpsons characters. My favourite is this guy because he's a cool looking Simpsonized hockey player. I highly recommend you spend some time on his site looking at his amazing creations.

I've got more humour items to try and lighten the moment. We have this old (2002) story of an e-mail server that wouldn't deliver emails any further than 500 miles from the recipient. "What? That's impossible" you are probably thinking. Read on if you dare -- all complaints to Dave for this geeky anecdote.

There is this bit of amusement provided to me by Paul. Before you click on the link, I must warn you it's got pop-ups, pop-overs, and pop-unders, enough to the point I only finished because of the source of the link. "Even if YOU don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-MaticTM knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice ... or ought to consider practicing." Here are my results:

Secular Humanism (100%)
Unitarian Universalism (90%)
Liberal Quakers (81%)
Neo-Pagan (80%)
Theravada Buddhism (77%)
Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (67%)
New Age (63%)
Nontheist (63%)
Taoism (57%)
Reform Judaism (53%)
Mahayana Buddhism (52%)
Orthodox Quaker (46%)
Baha'i Faith (40%)
Sikhism (40%)
Scientology (39%) WTF????
Jainism (38%)
New Thought (36%)
Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (30%)
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (26%)
Hinduism (26%)
Seventh Day Adventist (21%)
Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (20%)
Eastern Orthodox (17%)
Islam (17%)
Orthodox Judaism (17%)
Roman Catholic (17%)
Jehovah's Witness (13%)

The above list amuses me I suppose. Or maybe it scares me. Not sure. And while we're on religion, I wish to sign off with a special FOAD* for Pat Robertson. Watch this link if you can stomach what is, perhaps, Pat Robertson's most offensive and befuddling comment to date:

Yes, you heard it right. The people of Haiti apparently got together and swore a pact with the devil and that's why this happened to them. I hope Pat Robertson gets 'called home' soon. I hear it's nice and warm where he'll be going.

* That's fuck off and die if you didn't get it. I hope he gets punched in the face. Even Fox News said he was out of line. Really.

Conan O'Bacon's Avatar Is Wearing an Umbrella Hat

2010-01-12T18:48:00.000-05:00

Conan O'Brien tells NBC to pound sand. He didn't, of course. He was far more polite and diplomatic but he emphatically stated he no longer wanted to be the host of “The Tonight Show” on NBC if it appeared at 12:05 AM. Good for him. I think everyone's on his side except NBC and possibly Leno. I know I am, and I'm not much of a fan, though he's better than Leno by any measure.

If you're a fan and lover of bacon, you can never have too much bacon. Sometimes, though you may want bacon flavoured dental-floss, gum-drops, mints, toothpicks, or even gummy bacon or bacon shaped bandages. Well it's all here at Archie McPhee's emporium of bacon items. That's just a small sampling of the bacon items and there's an even wider range of foodstuffs including, I kid you not, chum flavoured mints. (I put that link here primarily for Liz and John who are bacon whores of the highest degree -- worse than me.)

Because my loyal reader(s) need a good laugh, I am just going to point out that Sarah Palin is going to be a commentator for Fox News. That's ironic (I think) as well as hysterically apropos. Yeah, and it's a punch-line until itself.

Jose, my esteemed ~~but~~ yet deranged friend, sent me two Avatar links. He and I had a great discussion on the plusses and minuses of the film. The first link is to some suggested things they could have done to improve the story. I post this without saying which ones I do and don't agree with, but am open to debating this with all your master debaters out there. The second link is from CHUD.com and compared the Avatar we saw with the original paper treatment. It's a long, long post and poses some interesting things. Again, I won't debate this until everyone's had a chance to read it. Please note that both of those links have tons of spoilers.

My electrician is here fixing the circuit breaker for my AC unit (which controls the heating). We think that's why it keep tripping. The HVAC guy insists it's a bad switch so he's here now (on over time because it's after five.)

Umbrella Hat Society now has a Facebook Page and you should join that in addition to the MySpace page and of course you must submit your photo to the mother site. It's weird enough to be cool, so you should join right away. In theory this is post 798, but I really need to count them manually and see if I'm still in synch.

(I love the subject line of this post.)

The Rest of Today's Post (Post 2 of 2)

2010-01-11T20:05:00.000-05:00

This is the non sports related post. If you're into sports, the entry I made earlier today will be of interest to you. Otherwise, don't bother.

First, I had mentioned I've got a new laptop for work. I noticed it was starting to get scratches on it from being in unfriendly environments such as backpacks, desk, and so on. This past Sunday I got a protective case for it. Very cool.

Secondly, today was international ride the subway without trousers day. Yeah. Seriously. It started in New York (2001) and continues to this day where many cities jumped in. London has added itself and you can read here in Annie Mole's wonderful Going Underground blog. Read about San Francisco's BART riders as well in the San Francisco Chronicle. I like the relative blasé attitude of everyone around the participants.

In news that surprised nobody Mark McGwire admitted today that he used steroids when blasting through all those records followed by his unexpected retirement when the investigations began. I already had little respect for baseball and I'm sure they'll do nothing in this case either.

For fans of YouTube's legendary Simon's Cat, of which I am one myself, he's now got a book out and it's awesome. Worth every single penny. Go buy it now.

The heater in my house is toasted. I'm displeased as it was in the 30s last night. I mean, you don't use something for over a decade, it works fine for two days, and then dies. WTF? Anyway, in theory they're coming tomorrow to look and see what's wrong. I'm suspecting the relay since the unit won't come on at all, but the circuit breaker is not tripped at all.

*******

Lastly, this will probably offend some people but I just don't care all that much. It was originally going to be posted to my humour list but it's just not that funny.

Security at airports continues to be a joke and remains more about making you feel safe than actually making you safe. I've said this repeatedly. This item that ends my post comes from Fran. I agree and it needs to be said:

(I am not the author of what's written below, nor do I know who did write it. But it's true.)

Absolutely No Profiling! Pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following multiple choice test. These events are actual events from history. They really happened! Do you remember?

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d . Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davey Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Bill's women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was heroically diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

14. Fort Hood Texas a soldier goes crazy, killing 13 people and wounding 30 some odd others. Who is he?
a. Conan O'Brien
b. Barack Obama
c. Dick Cheney
d. a Muslim male extremist between the age of 17 and 40

15. The USS Cole was attacked and US soldiers were killed by:
a. Jay Leno
b. Halle Berry
c. Barbara Walters
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Do you see a pattern here to justify profiling? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

US Supreme Court And Sports (Post 1 of 2)

2010-01-11T19:25:00.000-05:00

This is a sports related post. If you're not into sports, this entry will be of no interest to you. I will make a separate entry with my non-sports topic.

As most of you American readers know, a huge battle is about to be waged in the US Supreme Court. It's a very small item. Only it's got huge, huge ramifications. I'm going to throw my comments in, and at the end I'll provide two links for further reading.

The plaintiff is American Needle. Included on their "friend of the court" brief list is the NFL Coaches Association as well as the players unions in all major sports, among others.

The defendant is the National Football League (NFL). Included on their "friend of the court" brief list are every single professional sports league in the USA that has teams. All of them: NHL, NBA, MLS, the NCAA, professional tennis, and even NASCAR (though I refuse to acknowledge that as a sport). Even Master Card and Visa have thrown their hats in. What does this tell you? There are enormous sums of money involved. Sums measured in the hundreds of billions of dollars.

The case is American Needle v. NFL, 08-661 if you want to track it.

The high court will hear arguments Wednesday from American Needle that used to make NFL hats. They are seeking to overturn rulings that the NFL is one business, not 32 separate teams working together, and therefore immune to a antitrust complaints. So maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal to you.

Originally, American Needle sued the NFL and Reebok -- who got an exclusive contract to make apparel in 2004, claiming the deal violated antitrust laws. Lower courts threw out the suit, holding that nothing in antitrust law prohibits NFL teams from cooperating on apparel licensing. It doesn't matter if you agree or not, that's the legal ruling.

Now, the NFL is asking the Supreme Court to review the case in hopes of getting a blanket antitrust exemption that could eliminate most, if not all, the antitrust suits against the league. In the Washington Post, New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees wrote "It was an odd request — similar to my asking an official to review an 80-yard pass of mine that the official had already ruled a touchdown," You have to ask yourself: why would they do this?

It comes down to labour peace. An NFL victory would come at the cost of labour peace in pro sports, possibly leading to strikes and lost seasons for professional hockey, basketball, and football. Even the baseball players endorsed that view even though baseball has an antitrust exemption. Labour agreements in the NFL, NBA, NHL, and MLB all expire in or around 2011. Many analysts expect that if this exemption is allowed that the leagues will attempt to impose hard salary caps without approval of the players, remove free agency, and make it very difficult for free market conditions to reign.

The credit card companies are in this as I mentioned earlier. Why? Most people aren't aware but MasterCard and Visa are actually a confederation of banks much like the NFL is a confederation of teams. A ruling would allow them broad powers to fix pricing, invoke predatory pricing, and worse -- all without fear of reprisals.

The articles as promised: USA Today and Associated Press.

Avatar: The Hype vs The Reality

2010-01-09T17:45:00.000-05:00

So I saw Avatar today with Karen, Liz, Timmy, David, Kathy, and William. Pretty much spoiler free. This movie has been overhyped so I was not expecting so much from it. I knew it would be visually amazing, but with a slim story. I thought it would never live up to the hype. I must say, it lives up to the hype and the weakest part of the plot is the quest for "unobtanium" (who thought up that horrible name?)

I am always predisposed to Sigourney Weaver and I wasn't let down there. I am not a Sam Worthington fan but he did a bang up job in the film. Stephen Lang stole the show as far as real people go. The real star of the show was the special effects, something that is normally dangerous. But this movie delivers and doesn't seem one bit the 162 minute running time. We saw it in 3D but I am not a fan of 3D and would have been just as happy watching it in 2D.

I have a few quibbles. Early in the film the Navi arrows will not go through the glass on the spacecrafts but later they do. This is inconsistent and unexplained. Another thing that drove me crazy is that the Navi are much larger in size than humans. However, they vary in size from shot to shot. If you're (example) 1.5 times bigger then you're always 1.5 times bigger -- you can't keep changing it.

I really do need to say, this is a movie you should see. It's good. It's not great by any standard but it's a good, solid film.

In other news, it's 41º and raining. It's like a little bit of London come home with me. Not much to report for the rest of the day: woke up, went to breakfast with Dave, John, Liz, then skating with Evan, Liz, and John before going to the movie. Came home and ran to the dry cleaners and post office before setting in to watch the Jets v Bengals and write this post.

All Our Allah Are Belong To Us

2010-01-08T19:46:00.000-05:00

A quick update on the toe: it's still attached to my body and it still hurts. Thanks for asking.

In unrelated news, my throat hurts. Two days ago I made this Stouffer's Easy Express Skillets Yankee Pot Roast. This is, by far, the most disgusting, repulsive, nasty, frozen entrée I have ever eaten in my life. No frozen dinner is good but some manage to be adequate. This suffered from some of the nastiest "meat" I've ever tasted in my life -- no texture, no flavour, lots of gristle almost as if it was formed meat. I ate a little over 10% before I threw it all in the bin and threw in the towel. I ate a can of tuna instead. For comparison, I would gladly eat the dog I was unwittingly served in Taichung before I'd ever eat this shite again. Repugnant, repulsive, offensively bad. And to top it off, one of the potato-like things squirted boiling hot liquid down my throat burning it and I can feel the scab in my throat. I've left them a nasty comment on their website which I will assume they shan't post.

I had mentioned in a previous post that my friend Steve's father had died. Yesterday I went to the funeral home (something I abhor greatly) because after 30 years of friendship it's the right thing to do. I had no idea Frank Kovacs was so well regarded. There were politicians, chiefs of police, and others there in addition to friends and family. There was a full marine corps honour guard and another one from the police force. There weren't many flowers because they requested donations to the Marine Corps League (see previous post) charity instead and I, like most, honoured their wishes. There's an article here about Mr Kovacs if you wish to read more. I knew him because I spent a lot of time in Steve's house and he was proud of his marine corps service and he was still serving on the police force. I remember when he went on to work at UPS after that. It was nice to see Steve's mother who I hadn't seen in nearly a decade, and even Steve's brother. I also met Mr Kovacs' brothers, who were easy to spot looking just like him.

In serious news, read this article where tensions in Muslim-majority Malaysia turned violent Friday with firebomb attacks on three churches following a court decision that allows Christians to translate the word God as Allah. Yeah, seriously. As scary as that may be, I want to point out the really scary part: “Allah is only for us,” said Faedzah Fuad, 28, who participated in the rally. What? No, madam*, you are incorrect: on behalf of anyone who might (or might not) believe in God: fuck you to hell. You and your evil hell-spawned ilk, madam, are the reason the world is at war: that's the exact sort of backwards thinking that makes you think it's okay to blow up innocent people. If you removed your head from your arse for maybe 30 seconds, you'd realise your position is unreasonable, untenable, and is cause for mockery by everyone else. From a theological standpoint, there is only one God no matter what you call Him: God, Allah, Yahweh, and so on. I Googled this moron's quote: I'm not the only one who's taken umbrage. (Take my umbrage, please....) This related post is awesome on many levels but none as important as using the sentence "It's time to meet God, you bunch of ankle showing tarts!" That is a great sentence and when used in context, it rocks. Oh, and thanks to the power of Google, there's this listing with a phone and fax number in case you have words to share with Ms. Faedzah Fuad. (I am especially proud of the title of this post; for all you people who get there reference I hope you enjoy it too.)

A special piss-off to Evan for stealing what was going to be my blog opening for today: a passenger unwittingly carried live, deadly explosives on a flight to Dublin after Slovak officials deliberately planted them in his luggage in a bid to test airport security. Only their screening didn't spot them and the passenger made it all the way to Ireland with his luggage and the explosives in them (and on the plane). As you will see the BBC article is quite eye opening; worry when you fly. Today, the Slovak police chief resigned. Congratulations to Evan for scooping me. Bitch.

In other comedy news, I present this one liner: A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood.

* Faedzah Fuad is a woman -- not a lady apparently, but still a woman.

It's A Quarter Million!

2010-01-06T20:17:00.000-05:00

It's official. I've broken the quarter-million mark. 17 October 2004 was the start date. I passed the quarter million mark 2 Jan 2010. Congratulations to me. And thanks to all of you for ~~putting up with this blog~~ listening to what I have to say and sometimes even commenting on it. And now on with the blog because that's why ~~both~~ all of you are here reading.

I'll start with today's meltdown. My satellite signal had dropped below what was acceptable for continuity of signal and I started losing channels. This happened in November and they blamed the trees. I had them all trimmed at great expense, I might add as some of them are very tall palms that tower over my two storey house. That did, indeed, help a little. It began getting worse and around 18 December so I called again and they said a tech would call me back. That never happened and since I was off to London, it didn't much concern me. I came back to basically no television at all with many channels not working. (If you have DirecTV can you tell me if you get 366 -- they tell me it's not a valid channel though it's listed on my receiver and my program guide, but the channel is totally black.)

I called again and they set up an appointment for today. I had to miss work but I need my DirecTV so I decided to tough it out and they gave me the 8 to 10 slot, wherein I requested the first stop of the day. I got a call at 915am from the tech saying he would be here at 1130. Pissed, I went off to do my grocery shopping for the day. I returned, diddled around online, watched BBCA which was still working, and bided my time. At 1130 he called and said he was still at the previous job due to a delay and wasn't sure when he'd be here. I called in and raised all holy hell, finally telling them to cancel my service. They transferred me to "customer retention" who offered to pay my whole month of service excluding tax. They said the guy was on the way. From Texas apparently, showing up at 12:58. I start work at 7 or 730 so I've already wasted a good part of my work day. (I do not fault the tech for this. He's doing his job.) We trim another branch using his ladder and a hand saw because he's sure that's the problem. It's not. As it turns out, the problem is that the dish bracket has come loose and it won't stay in one place. He tightens it. We get 98% on three satellites and 70% on two. That's enough to give me signal and I'm working again (except for 366 -- not that I care but it's just an irritant that one channel doesn't work.) I leave for work arriving at 205pm. Seriously. We close at 5pm.

I try to get caught up all day to no avail and will be in extra early tomorrow to try and make up for my lost seven hours. We also now have an additional feature on our credit card machine wherein the operator of the machine has to enter a code to run a card. We had one card run twice last month in error. It's not that big of a deal and we gave the guy his money back as soon as we were made aware of it. But everyone denied doing it, so now everything will have a name associated with it. Speaking of credit cards, it still amazes me that US issued cards don't have smart chips with PIN numbers.

Speaking of London, there's this article from Business Travel which lists "Business Travel Innovation of the decade" with on-line check-on winning. I am mystified by one entry on the list (EuroStar) as that started in 1994, but maybe they were confused? Survey respondents also made a list of demands for the future to further enhance their enjoyment of business travel. Top of the list is speed with travellers calling for faster security, check in, and immigration processes. This was followed by the invention of a miracle child silencer, and supersonic aircraft. I am definitely for the miracle child silencer. Fine idea.

Metro ran an article about Joseph Squires. The sole reason I linked to this article is that you rarely get to use the word 'buggery' in a legitimate news article. Twice. That is worthy of recognition.

Sad Update To Today's Entry: A special word of condolences to my longest tenured friend -- since I moved to Miami at the start of junior high -- Steve Kovacs who lost his father today. Many of you know him and if you need contact details, let me know. The viewing is tomorrow, funeral Friday, In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to:

The Marine Corps League

In Memory of Frank J. Kovacs Jr.

14330 Kendale Lakes Drive

Miami, FL 33183

This is an Untitled Post because I couldn't think of one

2010-01-05T21:26:00.000-05:00

Before I begin, I have two random comments:

I would much prefer to be in the UK instead of the US at any given point in time, but there is one thing that the UK doesn't have that makes me very, very glad to be back. Water pressure when taking a shower. The UK has the weakest water pressure of anywhere I've been. They claim it's a water saving measure, but all it means is you're in the shower thrice as long just to get your hair wet enough to wash.
My home has central air conditioning, and part of that includes central heating. For the first time in six years, I turned it on today. Damn, it smelled really bad as the dust burnt off. I ran it for only an hour to take the chill off, but it was nice. I like the cold but sometimes you need a tad bit of warmth.

The second (and final) batch of London pictures are posted, BTW.

Right, then, I'm glad Christmas is over. Not my favourite time of year. First, it lasts too long, starting before Halloween now and it's infused with Christmas music. I abhor most of the music. Bah, humbug. MFC. All that stuff. It's become a commercial pile of dreck. I have nothing against the holiday for those who celebrate it for religious reasons and leave the commercialism out, nor do I have anything against it for those who celebrate it solely as a reason to be around friends and/or family. I don't even mind the exchanging of gifts, but I know for many families it's turned into a competition to outdo the others. Horeshit.

Speaking of said holiday, I do give gifts to a few people (a dwindling list every year as people are removed and not added). I don't much care if I get gifts in return and I don't ever expect anything in return other than an acknowledgement of receipt (not even a thank you). So is it wrong for me to be pissed when people I've shipped gifts to don't even acknowledge receiving something?

Now that we're getting "full body" scanners at the airports, there are many concerns about privacy. Me, I don't care so much if someone sees an x-ray style image of me in relative anonymity. The TSA claims This state-of-the-art technology cannot store, print, transmit or save the image. In fact, all machines are delivered to airports with these functions disabled...Each image is automatically deleted from the system after it is cleared by the remotely located security officer. but quite honestly, I just don't believe them. But as long as my name isn't associated with my picture I don't care. But the real question is: are they harmful? Cnet tries to find out both answers in the article posted today. Worth a read.

The best, cutest, kitty video of all time is this one. Best sixteen seconds of your life ever. Except for the part where you'll watch it a dozen times because it's so cute. The audio can be muted when it becomes irritating :)

And thanks to Stevenson for the winner of the 2004 Mother Of The Year Award.

Click To Enlarge

Also, corporate pages on FaceBook now have the ability to create names. Of course, Facebook still has a problem with the word screw so instead we're at http://www.facebook.com/isc1956 (1956 being the year we incorporated). Please follow us on Facebook and/or Twitter.

Shout out to Josh because I want to. And my evil twin Dan. And Prudence in case she's decided to use the internet.

Just A Few Notes

2010-01-04T21:20:00.000-05:00

The pictures of the London trip will appear on Flickr today and tomorrow. There are about 12 of 226 I will post. The rest are on request only. My broken toe photo is also there but it's restricted to friends and family only.

First up we have a peeve of mine. I hate people who don't know how to get dressed. Yes, I refer to the morons who don't know that pants go at or above the waistline and not below your arse-cheeks. Well in a message from God, one of those idiots died today when he tripped over his own pants and plunged to his death after killing three people. You should never take pleasure in the death of another, but in this case it's probably okay as this is definitely a divine sanctioned event.

If you thought it was impossible to flow-chart music, think again. Here's one for Hey Jude that's awesome. Okay, it's a humour piece but for a minute you were thinking I was serious. Admit it. I rather like this. You suspected that since I did post it here. Thanks to Paul for that link.

I had mentioned the photo exhibit at the National History Museum that we liked so much. Not sure if I posted a link to all the photos, but it's here in case I forgot. I'll be updating my London page this week too for those interested.

And from Dan who is taking up a lot of my blog space lately, we have this item. I'm starting to wonder if Dan is my evil twin brother. There's a lot of weird links he finds that come here. Scary. The item itself is a comparison of 1999 vs 2009 and it may just surprise you how things have changed.