Health Alert: Acid Reflux, Aciphex, Nexium, and Vocal Cords

Five weeks ago I reported about my health problems and the lesion found on my vocal chords -- we named him Fred in the previous post. Just in case some of you actually give a flying fuck, I have an update. Fred was supposed to be entirely gone now. Then I'd be happy and tell everyone life is good and move on.

I followed the restricted foods carefully and made perhaps one or two minor strays over the five weeks. Even the doctor agrees I did a fantastic job. I took the medicines every day -- missing one dose one day only (thank Ernesto). I adjusted my eating and sleeping patterns. The consequences were too dire to do anything else.

So when Doctor Kevorkian, er, I mean Doctor Foster, shoved the camera down my nose this time,not using nearly enough anaesthetic I might add, and said, "oh" I felt my heart slow down. Fred is still there -- that's the bad news, and make no mistake about it because it's very bad news. On the plus side, Fred is showing signs of improvement -- and by that I mean he's a bit smaller but not small enough. So, I am on my morning Aciphex and a double evening dose of Nexium* -- again with Tums as needed.

In early November I go back. If Fred is still there, I get a trip to the surgeons where the prognosis is good -- assuming I don't mind the fact I might not be able to talk ever again and a trip to a gastrointestinologist to find out why there's so much acid gurgling around my stomach.


* assuming the fucktards at Aetna can actually get their shit together. I have no fucking idea what gives an insurance company the right to override a doctor's decision and deny a prescription. I've already faxed my doctor the number to their appeals department, and pending that I'll be calling the state insurance commissioner. Life is a bitch, and then you die waiting for the insurance company to figure it out. (Nexium40 is around $200 a bottle for a 30 day supply).

Health Alert: Acid Reflux, Aciphex, Tinnitus, and Vocal Cords

If you don't care about me or my health, you can skip right over this post and read the other stuff in this blog. It's far more interesting and less disgusting than this post.

If you know me, you know I've got Acid Reflux disease. Common and not much to say about it really. I've had it for quite a few years and finally started treatment for it about 3 or so years ago. Although we're not sure what caused it, the suspicion is one of those nasty drugs they gave me trying to cure my tinnitus might have caused it since some of those drugs had my stomach in turmoil. I still have tinnitus of course -- happily I don't have a terrible case of it as it comes and goes, but when I do have it, it's maddening. My very distant cousin William"Captain Kirk" Shatner has tinnitus too.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand and continuing with the back story, last month I went to my doctor for my annual physical -- you know the one I only have every 3 to 5 years because, like most guys, I hate going to the doctor. My doctor rather insisted I have one when I went in. Happily, I passed with flying colours at least. All my blood counts were normal, cholesterol was almost normal (165), blood pressure was flawless, and even my EKG showed as perfectly normal -- pretty cool for a guy who is decidedly not normal and prides himself on it. But when it comes to one's health, I guess normal is good. My doctor though I had the heart of a 20 year old, though I could probably stand to lose a few pounds.

While there, I mentioned to my doctor that my throat was a bit sore on one side. He squeezed around it, poked, prodded, asked questions, and said I probably needed to take an antacid before bed in addition to Aciphex (which I take for the aforementioned Acid Reflux). He thought it would get better. But, quite frankly, it hasn't in the past few weeks, and it started getting worse. You may find this hard to believe, but I am getting to a point.

So today I went to an otolaryngologist. The doctor tried to use a tongue depressor to look down my throat but I have a serious gag reflex and that, despite my advanced warning, did not work out well -- as the doctor found out. If the patient says not do so something, be warned.

So, after failing to succeed with that plan, he went to plan "B" which was to spray some substance like Lidocain up my nostril which of course made it numb and without feeling on one side, a bizarre feeling. You know that expression "up your nose with a rubber hose" -- well that's pretty much what it was except there was a camera on the end. It went up my nose and down my throat along with my admonitions -- swallow, breathe through your nose, etc. It's really hard when there's a camera shoved up your nose to breathe through it at the same time. Try it some time. Then the 'swallow' trick is pretty hard too. It's very uncomfortable but not painful at all, as long as you don't think about it. So up to now, this post has been wildly entertaining and/or gross for everyone. Now is when you want to stop reading, 'cause this test produced results.

Yeah, so the news wasn't good. The good news is I went to the doctor early enough. If you don't go to the doctor you can end up with cancer in the throat or esophagus, often fatal. Fatal is bad. I don't have that so far. However, there is a growth/lesion on my left vocal chord near the top where it connects. I've named it "Fred" -- okay, that's a lie, I haven't named it because I'm hoping it'll go away and if you name something you get attached to it. Never name a stray. Because of the acid reflux, this lesion has been irritated and is now swollen and growing. Growing is bad.

The plan of action is to reduce my acid production to about zero. I am still on Aciphex but now also on Pepcid and Nexium in addition, plus Tums as needed. On top of that, a heavily restricted diet has been ordered. Basically if it has flavour I probably shouldn't eat it. In fact, judging by the list the doctor gave me, if it has flavour or colour I shouldn't eat it. Yes, it's white mushy crap for the next five weeks: mashed potatoes, boiled rice, and so forth. (It's amazing the list of foods you can't eat when on an acid restricted diet: no bananas, dairy, carbonated anything, no caffeine, alcohol, coffee, tea, carrots, broccoli, peaches, apples, fruit juice, citrus, beans, and so on....)

In five weeks I return to the doctor for a follow up. If "Fred" is shrinking, yay! If it's not, it's surgery for me. Very risky for my vocal chords and I prefer not to lose my ability to speak. I've always felt if the doctor thinks it might be risky, then it's definitely risky.

So there it is. I am, however, done being cranky about it as I have been all day. That is until I find out I can't eat anything except bread and water.

More Bad Customer Service (Today: Walgreens)

So, last weekend I use the Internet to renew two Walgreens prescriptions. This should be easy. Normally I use the phone auto-dial system out of privacy concerns, but I decided to be daring. I really don't care if you all know I take AcipHex. Yes, good ole' acid-reflux. So much for privacy, eh? :)

Anyway, so I show up to pick it up last Tuesday. The second prescription was ready, but the AcipHex wasn't despite the fact they had three days to prepare it. I ask why it wasn't ready and they said the insurance company wouldn't release it early. I explained that this was a 'vacation refill' (something where you get your prescription early if you will be out of town when it normally comes due). She said that their records didn't indicate that. Now, I don't have a problem with Walgreens on that aspect at all.

What pissed me off? Well they didn't call me to tell me there was a problem. They wait until I show up after 5pm to let me know there's a problem -- when the insurance company is, obviously, closed. I ask what can be done and they said "Well you can pay for it." I asked how much and I was told $196! I said "no" and let them know I'd pick up BOTH of them on the 11th (today) and asked her to note that on the already filled first prescription. I let them know how irritated I was they didn't call me. "Well we don't have your phone number" I was told. I asked for the manager of the pharmacy and pointed at the label of the first prescription, which, of course, had my phone number on it (required by law in Florida).

I show up today to pick up both prescriptions. Guess what? They had cancelled my first prescription because I didn't collect it on time. I must say the pharmacist on duty was apologetic and filled it just under 5 minutes. But can you believe the idiocy?

Then the cashier rang it up at the FULL price. She had to get the store manager to void the transaction and have the pharmacist re-issue the AcipHex at the insurance co-pay rate. Why? The first pharmacist issued the AcipHex before the 11th despite our conversation. Moron.