Mostly Wall-E (Wall*E) Review

First, a few clarifications about my new car for those asking. It's the 3.0 version of the X5 which is 6 cylinders and not 8. I didn't need the power or the crappy-ass fuel penalty. Secondly, one of the big deciding factors was the all inclusive maintenance that includes absolutely everything except tires. That makes a big difference in total cost of ownership. Figure a few oil changes per year at $29.95 are free, the 15 and 30K services, a few hundred. Some wiper blades, fluids, and so forth. At least two brake jobs, and that's another grand in my pocket. All free.

Second, the report on Wall-E (Wall*E in earlier presentations and actually Wall•E in the film). We started with breakfast at OPH at 1015. I ate light because I knew lunch was coming. Our party of eleven (The Three Higgi, Erin, me, Johhny B, Liz, Timmy, Karen, Evan, Shane) became a party of twelve with the cameo appearance of legend VanMuph. Breakfast was enjoyable. Took a few razzings over the fact I was in my old car and not the new one -- that was due to insurance issues which will be resolved Monday. After eating, we all went to the theatre and got tickets (minus Murph who had a flight to catch) for the 1205 show. Saw some horrific previews (there's a Chihuahua movie coming out that is vapid at best). And then the main event.

This review contains spoilers.

I will say the opening short is better than many FILMS. It's BY FAR the best Pixar short and it was WAY better than Cars, for instance. Very short, short though. Wall•E is a great film, one of the best Pixar films to date, though I still think Ratatouille is the grand champion of all Pixar films. Wall•E is definitely better than Nemo which seems to be everyone else's favourite. We have a story for the ages here. It could be many things but at its heart, it's a love story between Wall•E and Eve. Wall•E has an iPod, sounds like a Mac II when he reboots, and has some very cool personality, all while looking like a cross between ET and Short Circuit. And he lives alone and watches musicals. (Wait, he's not Michael Jackson. I promise.)

Wall•E lives alone on Earth, everyone else having gone to the stars because the planet is overrun with trash. Wall•E and his clones are supposed to clean it up, but except for him, they're all done running. The planet has not been recovered/saved/etc. Then comes Eve who is looking for plant life. Soon, she's leaving the planet only Wall•E has fallen in love and follows her. And until this point the movie is basically dialogue free.

They reach the ship Axiom and the fun begins. The human race has turned into large, sedentary, lazy cows. I mean worse than now, to be accurate. Wall•E and Eve are separated but they eventually find each other and the trip back to Earth begins. The movie gets an A+ for sure.

Afterwards we all went to Cracker Barrel and ate until we were bloated, leaving there nearly at quarter past four. No dinner for me, thanks.

My Vacation Report (Such as it was)

As usual, I am typing up a trip report for those parties who may be interested in what I did for vacation this year. I use the term vacation lightly – as this was anything but a vacation. As far as I'm concerned I took no vacation in 2007.

This year, I decided to ditch Christmas and head to Europe. It was, in theory, a good plan when it was hatched. The weakened US Dollar (thanks to that jerk George Bush), made this a very, very expensive trip but with no practical way to cancel. Had I known how bad the exchange rate would get, it would have been cheaper to eat the plane tickets than go. Oh well. Honestly, if I would have had a great time I wouldn’t have minded. The trip was planned when the exchange rate was US$1.85 per £1 but ended up around $2.05 and increase of 10% -- which may not sound like much until you add everything up.

Anyway, I invited many of my friends some of whom expressed serious interest. As the trip came closer, all my friends who said they were interested slowly backed out for various (and generally sound) reasons. However, surprisingly, my sister said she wanted to go. I thought it might be a good experience for us to go somewhere together again. Next time I have that thought, I wish someone would get a large 2x4 with a rusty nail in the end and smack me with it repeatedly until I’m either dead or come to my senses. No jury in the world will convict you.

I arrive at the airport via the Mom-Taxi at about 11am on Christmas day as scheduled. Check-in goes very smoothly and we’re at the gate a good hour before boarding. The plane boards almost on time -- only about 15 minutes late -- and my sister is still, at this point, seemingly excited. The plane pulls back and nearly an hour later, we are still on the ground for no reason. The flight to Newark takes almost four hours instead of just under three, again, for no apparent reason. I’m not concerned about our connection, though, because we have a long layover. And, indeed, despite the delay, we get to our gate in Newark well ahead of boarding. Since Samantha’s hungry, we stop at the food court to eat. This means we have no time to go to the lounge for some pre-flight relaxation, though. No big deal on that. (We were travelling business class courtesy of mile upgrades, of course).

We board our flight to Paris on-time and we depart about a half hour late, as do most international flights. It’s no big deal and because of tailwinds we manage to get to Paris a good 30 minutes early anyway. Samantha sleeps most of the flight. I read and watch in-flight movies. The seats in Continental's business-first cabin are not nearly as comfortable as Delta's -- I think there's a difference in the angle of recline.

We clear immigration and customs quickly and our bags take no time at all. We are soon in a taxi headed towards town from Charles De Gaulle Airport. We get to our hotel (Hotel Warwick Champs-Elysées) before 900am. In a surprise revelation, our hotel room is ready. We dump our stuff in our rooms and head out less than thirty minutes later.

The sun has yet to make an appearance and the weather is even colder than we expected, though considerably wetter. The weather can best be described as wet. We spend the rest of the day walking around Paris. Up the Champs d'Elysée and under the arc Du Triomphe. Then all the way back down the Champs d'Elysée to the Place De La Concorde, and through to the Louvre, and then back up Rue de Rivoli and off to Avenue FDR to the legendary Chocolatier Jadis et Gourmande. Then back up the Champs d'Elysée to our hotel where we rest.

Then, later, we take the metro to Boulevard Haussmann to the Galleries Lafayette and Printemps so Samantha can get some Paris shopping in. Paris wasn’t crowded during the day except in the Galleries Lafayette and Printemps which were crowded beyond all measure. So we went through them pretty quickly while she complained and bitched mightily. At night, it was a different story and Paris was swamped to the gills.

Due to the very low fog we didn’t go up the Eiffel Tower or Arc Du Triomphe because they were obscured from view (see my Flickr blog). She’d done both of these on her previous trip to Paris so it wasn’t a great loss. Still it was dissapointing.

The entire time in Paris, Samantha complained about the weather and how cold and miserable she was and how much everything sucked. This despite the fact she wants to return to university at Syracuse which is considerably wetter and colder. When asked what she wanted to do, it was “I don’t know” and then when I picked something she didn’t want to do it. It wasn’t very fun. This kept up the entire trip and dragged the vibe down considerably.

When it came time for dinner, she wanted to go to McDonald’s. Really. In Paris! I refused. I selected a nice authentic French creperie and another restaurant and let her select which one. We ended up at the creperie because the other one was too crowded for her. The creperie was excellent. She hated it. She went to some other French fast food place afterwards and got a take-away sandwich.

We didn’t eat breakfast at the hotel because it was €23 for a continental breakfast. That’s US$36 in case you’re not up on the exchange rate. Again, she wanted to go to McDonald’s but it was (happily) closed. I went to Paul -- an excellent French patisserie -- and got a great café au lait et une pan chocolate et une croissaint. C’est tres bien. Samantha got cranky and went to some fast food place without me. Don’t start me.

She was not very fun to be around and when questioned for a reason as to why, she said she didn’t like Paris. Paris, I might add is a wonderful city, though to its great misfortune, it's populated with Parisians, some of the most insufferable people ever to walk the earth. Though in defence of Paris, we did go to a local coffee shop on the Champs d'Elysée and the waiter there was fantastic. We got a fantastic, perfect, flawless cup of coffee, I might add. As we left that shop, Samantha muttered about how she got the wrong drink and not the one she ordered. Not true, I might add. She's just terminally dissatisfied I guess. Say whatever you want about the French, they know their foods and coffees and there really is no comparison.

Anyway, my flawed and defective French got us through the two days. She was so miserable, I suggested we pack off to EuroDisney and spend the night there instead of Paris. She agreed that was a most excellent idea and we took a very expensive cab ride – my fault for not taking the train. €70 down the tubes -- or about $105. As we got near Marne-La-Vallee, France we hit utter gridlock of the Manhattan variety. Samantha was complaining bitterly about France, the French, the weather, and anything else she could find fault with. The cab driver didn’t speak English (thank God!) but he and I had a light chat and he said all the cars were all going to EuroDisney (properly called Disneyland Paris now).

Sure enough, we got there and the queue to even get in the hotel lobby (New York, New York) was insufferable. Even I felt a bit cranky at this point – partly due to the line and partly due to not having had a little more time in Paris to do some stuff. We got the package which included the room, breakfast for two and park admission for the rest of that day and the next day too. It was so expensive I'm embarrassed to even tell you, though as a measure of a hint I'll tell you I could have spent a weekend in Las Vegas -- airfare included -- for less. So we finally make it through and check-in and, of course, the room isn’t ready so we go to the park.

My sister became the foul-mouth sailor. Everything was F-this and F-that. Now, I must tell you that if I notice swearing it’s got to be pretty damn bad. Seriously, I work around contractors and hear foul language as a matter of due course and I rarely notice it. This was a tirade of F words that didn't stop even after I asked.

She didn’t want to go on most of the rides because the lines were too long. I'm not sure what sort of lines one expects on a major holiday weekend in a Disney park. I knew it would be bad, but even I was a little surprised at the 100 to 180 minute queues.

We ended up doing over the course of the two half-days we were there Space Mountain, Big Thunder, Indiana Jones, Star Tours, Pirates of the Caribbean, and then over at the Studio park Rockin Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror as well as a couple of shows (Animagique, Cinemagique). We could have done better, but we had Miss Attitude to contend with. It definitely continued to drag my mood down. If I’m not having fun at a Disney park, that’s just sad.

That night she wouldn’t even leave the room to go to dinner. So I ended up going out by myself and getting some sandwich from the Disney Village and walking around for some time. The sandwich wasn't half bad, actually. I was surprised she didn’t go with me: after all, they had a McDonald’s. Anyway, we did eat a nice dinner with exceptionally bad service (it’s France after all) before we went to the train station. We ended up killing a lot of time when we could have been having fun. I took her on a walk around the perimeter of the lagoon and she did naught buy complain about how cold it was -- light snow flurries -- and didn't do much except drag her feet. Literally -- the entire trip -- you could hear her feet shuffling. I wonder if she knows how to walk properly.

Our EuroStar train left Marne-La-Valle right on time for England, and now they even do the passport control right on the train. Samantha slept the entire trip through both stops in Lille and Ashford. EuroStar started going to St Pancras instead of Waterloo from 15 November, so it was nice to come into a brand new train station. From St Pancras, we took a cab to our hotel, the Rembrandt. We checked-in and everything was wonderful. The hotel was totally re-done since my last stay in early 2006 and was absolutely spectacular, though my room had a temperature control difficulty, which was fixed the next morning. By difficulty I mean I was sweating buckets and it was around 40 degrees outside, but the window was locked. After putting our things away and unpacking, we went down to the tube station that night and picked up our Oyster cards (RFID tube tickets) to save time the next day. We tried to go to Sainsbury's to pick up some supplies, but they were already closed for the night so we ended up at Lord's instead -- a definite downgrade.

I also begin to feel unwell that night and didn’t sleep due to violent coughing and woke up thoroughly sick the next day. Trooper that I am, we kept right to schedule.

We got up and ate at the hotel breakfast buffet as we did every day until the end of the trip. Before we left that morning I asked the concierge to arrange show tickets for us and gave him detailed instructions after consulting with Samantha as to our choices. Also, it's now Saturday 29 December 2007 if you've lost track. We got up early this day to go to Portobello Road market -- though the market is open daily, the street market is open only on Saturdays. Samantha really didn’t like it at first, but once she found something she wanted, she didn’t hate it and almost smiled. She got a great bargain on a Le SportSac backpack, though at the price she paid, I strongly suspect it was a counterfeit. She used that backpack the rest of the trip. We got my dad an authentic Russian war medal, plus some other gifts I shan’t mention as they have yet to be distributed.

After that, we went by tube off to Oxford Street for my famous shopping walk tour (see my London web page for details). We did the whole walk including the Carnaby Street detour, at her request. I managed to buy one shirt. She bought England -- I only partly jest. We then did the Book Store walk, which is not nearly as fun now that it’s all chain stores except for Foyle’s. I bought books, but you knew that before you even read this far. Then we went to Forbidden Planet where I bought absolutely nothing. Really. I am shocked. There just wasn't anything that excited me enough to buy.

After returning to the hotel, I left on my own to visit the pharmacist and obtain some cough medicine. In the UK to get any sort of "real" drug you have to speak to the pharmacist -- it's not self-serve like it is here in the USA. You get questioned as to your symptoms, allergies, and whatnot and then they make a recommendation. Also, in the UK a pharmacist can give you low-end prescription drugs for minor symptoms. The pharmacist was very knowledgeable and she gave me two choices: one that tasted okay and would probably work and one that “tastes like shite” but would be guaranteed to work. I picked the nasty one. It wasn’t as bad a taste as the legendary TerpinHydrate with Codeine but it was close.

The concierge was very successful and got all four shows we asked for. My sister picked the plays except for one. Please note that. We ate at Pizza Express that night. We returned to the hotel. I didn’t sleep well at all. Lots of hacking and such. Sadly, the nasty stuff didn’t work and I had another fitful night.

Sunday morning we went to the British Museum for the one thing I wanted to see more than anything else on this trip: the Terra-Cotta Warrior exhibit. This is the first time they’ve been allowed out of China. I’ve not managed to see them on my past two trips to China due to their remote location (a six hour flight from Shanghai). I was crushed to learn it was sold out through 4 January 2008. I consulted several ticket brokers and the hotel concierge with absolutely no luck. Down in flames -- crushed. Really.

So, we were instead off to the London Zoo. We took a taxi, something I rarely do, favouring public transport instead. It just worked out better that way because Miss Grump was complaining about the walking even though we hadn't really even walked all that much. She did a lot of complaining, as I'm sure you've noticed. Just really grating, I have to say.

We got to the zoo and actually spent real time there. She seemed to enjoy herself. I was glad for that. After the zoo, we took a cab to Tottenham Court Road tube station and then walked to Covent Garden where we did the London Transport Museum. She was probably unhappy at my pace, but the museum has been closed nearly two years and they totally re-did the museum top to bottom and it’s a resounding success. I could bore you with details, but I shan’t do that except to say they took one of my favourite museums and made it even better. Afterwards, I took her to the Paul Frank Store because she loves that stuff.

Later that day I went back to the pharmacist. She prescribed two syrups this time: one for day use and one for night use. Linctus of something with Codeine. She also asked me again about my allergies and such. As a side note, when I mentioned my allergic reaction to Claritin-D she said she thinks I’m not allergic to the Claritin itself but the Pseudoephedrine in it. She suspects my body is metabolising the Pseudoephedrine too fast and that’s what caused the irregular heartbeat. She said I should consult with my doctor. These syrups didn’t cure my cough or mitigate it too much, but they sure did make me sleep. So a partial victory anyway.

Sunday we walked around Piccadilly Circus and Leicester Square and we ate at Belgo Centraal that night, a fine Belgian restaurant. Then, we hopped the tube to Victoria and saw Billy Elliot. The theatre was unnaturally hot. Samantha didn’t seem to enjoy what is described as the best British Musical ever. It may just be the best play ever, but that’s my opinion. I will say the new kid isn’t as good as the old one, and a lot has to do with the fact he doesn’t look the part and it's a tad bit distracting. He’s too tall and my guess he isn’t long for the role for that very reason. Still, it was fantastic though everyone in the audience had shed much of their over-clothing and was sweating.

Monday morning it was the London Eye because it was a clear day -- a rare thing on a winter's day in London. That went over well of course. Even the Grinch would like the Eye. It wasn't too crowded and we got on straight away, though there was an impressive queue when we got off, just before 11am. There was a Star Wars exhibit in the Aquarium building, which Grumpy asked if we could do. I thought it would be hokey crap, but I was so thrilled she suggested something I immediately approved. As it turned out, this was the Real Deal and had all the ORIGINAL models and costumes and was done by Lucasfilm itself. I took a huge number of photos because I was so impressed with it. We both really liked it. It was really good and we had a great time.

After that, it was off to the British Library. I showed her the Gutenberg Bible and she didn’t know what it was. I swear I am not making that up. I was ashamed. She had a general concept of what the Magna Carta was at least when I showed her that. She was totally unimpressed by seeing the original handwritten scores from some of the greatest composers to ever live. I love this place and, sadly, it was lost on her. I am not impressed with our modern educational system if this is what it turns out.

Monday afternoon we went to the Photographer’s gallery. At Miss Grumpy’s rate of speed we were done in, I kid you not, well under 15 minutes. I barely had time to spend a few seconds glancing my way through. That evening we went to Avenue Q at 5 O’clock as it was the only show for New Year’s Eve. A rousing performance and a grand old time. Everyone in the theatre laughed except one person. I dare you to guess who.

The crowds for New Year’s Eve are always excessive in London and this was no exception with nearly one million people crowding the area near the London Eye on the bank of the Thames for fireworks. Samantha became very frustrated with the crowds -- and I do not blame her one bit for this -- so we ended up going back to the hotel to watch on TV instead. This turned out to be a good move as there were, according to the morning Times, 90-minute queues at all the tube stations after the fireworks. We ate at McDonald’s that night because, sadly, all the restaurants that were open were booked solid and most were closed. Worst meal of the trip, of course. She liked it. ::rolls eyes::

Tuesday morning we went off to the London Dungeon. This was her pick -- there is no way would I pick or recommend this attraction. When we got there, it wasn’t open yet because it was New Year’s morning and they had late opening hours, so we trudged down to the our next stop, the Design Museum (another of her picks) which we both were very disappointed in. She hated it and so did I, though they have one of the best gift shops outside the Tate Modern. There just really wasn't anything of interest. After that, we went back to the London Dungeon. It was not scary, frightening, gorey, or horrible, nor was it very interesting. It was way overpriced for what you get. She swore most of the way through. I don’t blame her, but still....

Then it was off to the Science Museum. We did the whole thing and she didn’t complain much so maybe that meant she liked it. Afterwards, we went back to the hotel for a rest. Then it was off for dinner at Rules. Everyone should eat at Rules at least once on every trip through London -- it's been an institution there for well over 200 years -- since 1798. A fine, fine, dinner and an excellent dessert. Then it was off to the theatre to see Spamalot.

I didn’t know what to expect of Spamalot. I like Monty Python, of course -- but one never knows what to expect of them. The play was stupid by anyone’s standards, but I laughed a lot. I even think Grumpy almost smiled once or twice, even. And a small spoiler: never sit in row D, seat 1 unless you care to be dragged upon stage and made part of the show even if you're unwilling. The leading lady was one of the most amazing singers I’ve ever heard. Seriously, she was a tour-de-force all by herself.

Wednesday morning was our last day in London and I am sad to report I was relived this trip was over. How sad is that? We did Westminster Abbey at Samantha's request and at her pace: that is to say we were there less than 20 minutes. If you’ve ever been, you understand that’s quite the achievement and not one to be proud of. Then it was off to the Tate Modern in Southwark. We did that and, as you all know, art museums I do at a steady pace but I was having trouble keeping up with her. They might have paintings on the wall, but we were moving so fast, it's hard to be sure.

Afterwards, we walked across the Millennium Bridge and to the Bank of England where I wanted to see the Bank of England museum. However, the speed at which she went through it was pretty much hard to see anything. After that, we went to the hotel to drop off some stuff and adjust our layers of clothing. Then, it was off to Harrods where we split up to meet back at the hotel at 5pm.

I thought I'd buy Confessor (just out in hardback) earlier in the trip but at £20 that was over $40 and I figured I'd wait until I got home as that's way too much for a book. I did see it at another shop for £14.99 and decided it was still better to wait until I got home. I was in Harrods and saw a stack marked at £4.99 or about $10. I grabbed a copy and took it to the register where I was informed it was a mis-mark, and I certainly agreed since that's less than a paperback costs and this was a fresh release hardback. To my surprise, they said they'd sell it to me anyway, so I got it. The review is in my blog.

I got lost looking for the stairwell out of Harrods, so I asked someone where they hid the damn thing. I was directed to go through antiquities, past minerals and fossils, and I would find it there. I did, stopping to admire the dinosaur fossils for US$¼ Million and up including a genuine brontosaur bone and a woolly mammoth tusk. I also admired a pyrite chunk from a meteor, which I may yet buy if we can figure out how to transport it to the USA. I walked by the art gallery where I accidentally bought a painting, which should be here in two weeks. We shan't discuss what getting lost in Harrods cost me.

That night we went to Bunches of Grapes pub for dinner and then to the Lyceum for Lion King. It was a very long, bitterly cold walk. Samantha was in a foul mood for reasons I can’t disclose because they’re a mystery. She was in an even worse mood after spending fifteen minutes in queue for the loo. We got to our seats just as the play started. It's a great play, and one of the best I’ve ever seen but not this performance. There was no projection from many of the actors and if you can't hear, you can't experience the play. There was the occasional breach of the fourth wall by trying to funny – inexcusable. I was unhappy about it, but enjoyed the show on a visual level. Samantha slept through parts. Not one play we saw got a standing ovation on this trip. They don’t give those away so easy in London. And that’s good when you have to earn them. Anyway, we walked to Embankment tube and went back to the hotel to pack and to bed. It snowed a bit that night.

We got up bright and early, checked out before breakfast and took a cab to Victoria and hopped on the Gatwick Express. At the airport, we checked-in, and went to the lounge where they served a hot breakfast. Yep. HOT! Continental shares the Emirates lounge at Gatwick now. It was very pleasant and very posh including a hot buffet, a cold buffet, free internet, bathrooms, showers, and the like. I didn’t feel well and I’m not sure if that bathroom will ever be the same again.

We went to the gate and they boarded the flight about 20 minutes late, and we left without much further delay. On the flight Grumpy slept. I watched a film called Across The Universe which is a quirky film set to Beatles music. I had heard of it before but never went to see it because of highly questionable reviews, but I must say I rather enjoyed it.

We arrived Newark about 15 minutes early, cleared immigration without difficulty, reclaimed our bags and then cleared customs quickly. We re-checked our bags, and then took the tram to the C terminal for our flight home.

We got in the lengthy security queue. We had almost cleared security when some guy came running through and asked to cut so he could get his flight. Nobody objected and the usually bitchy TSA took pity and let him through. He threw his jacket on top of mine as it went through the x-ray machine. After passing through the detector machines, he grabbed his jacket and ran off. I grabbed mine and started to walk towards the gate. Moments later I realized my passport was gone! He’d taken it! Not much could be done because we didn’t know where he got off too. I asked TSA for help, but they said they couldn't do anything. I realized I'd have to call the Passport Office and report it missing as soon as I got home. Happily, a few moments before our flight was to board, I was paged to security. My passport was turned in before he boarded his flight. All was well.

We boarded our flight 30 minutes later, arrived home about 30 minutes late and then waited about one hour for our damned luggage. Or to be accurate mine was about 20 minutes and Grumpy's was about the last off. And that concluded the trip.

I’m still sick. I didn’t enjoy myself very much, and so basically I didn’t have a real vacation in 2007.

The Complete Disney Film List And My Rankings

These are the classic animated Disney films. These are FULL LENGTH FEATURES ONLY. The list does not include animated films distributed but not produced by Disney. It also doesn’t include direct to video releases. The first column is the order in which they were released, and the second column is my opinion as to the ranking of the films. The "DNS" designator indicates one I have not seen. This list is accurate as the date of this post. I have not included Disney Toon Studio films in any of these lists.


1 13 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
2 15 Pinocchio
3 3 Fantasia
4 12 Dumbo
5 21 Bambi
6 41 Saludos Amigos
7 37 The Three Caballeros
8 DNS Make Mine Music
9 42 Fun and Fancy Free
10 DNS Melody Time
11 11 The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
12 14 Cinderella
13 10 Alice in Wonderland
14 9 Peter Pan
15 17 Lady and the Tramp
16 8 Sleeping Beauty
17 18 One Hundred and One Dalmatians
18 19 The Sword in the Stone
19 6 The Jungle Book
20 32 The Aristocats
21 20 Robin Hood
22 23 The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
23 24 The Rescuers
24 25 The Fox and the Hound
25 7 The Black Cauldron
26 27 The Great Mouse Detective
27 26 Oliver & Company
28 28 The Little Mermaid
29 38 The Rescuers Down Under
30 2 Beauty and the Beast
31 29 Aladdin
32 1 The Lion King
33 40 Pocahontas
34 35 The Hunchback of Notre Dame
35 36 Hercules
36 5 Mulan
37 22 Tarzan
38 34 Fantasia 2000
39 31 The Emperor's New Groove
40 30 Atlantis: The Lost Empire
41 4 Lilo & Stitch
42 33 Treasure Planet
43 16 Brother Bear
44 39 Home on the Range
45 DNS Chicken Little
46 DNS Meet the Robinsons


These are the Pixar films. These are FULL LENGTH FEATURES ONLY. The first column is the order in which they were released, and the second column is my opinion as to the ranking of the films. The "DNS" designator indicates one I have not seen. This list is accurate as the date of this post.
1 4 Toy Story
2 6 A Bug's Life
3 5 Toy Story 2
4 3 Monsters, Inc.
5 7 Finding Nemo
6 2 The Incredibles
7 8 Cars
8 1 Ratatouille



These are the mixed live action and animated Disney films. These are FULL LENGTH FEATURES ONLY. The list does not include animated films distributed but not produced by Disney. It also doesn’t include direct to video releases. The first column is the order in which they were released, and the second column is my opinion as to the ranking of the films. The "DNS" designator indicates one I have not seen. This list is accurate as the date of this post.
1 6 The Reluctant Dragon
2 DNS Victory Through Air Power (War Film)
3 1 Song of the South
4 DNS So Dear to My Heart
5 3 Mary Poppins
6 4 Bedknobs and Broomsticks
7 5 Pete's Dragon
8 2 Who Framed Roger Rabbit
9 DNS The Lizzie McGuire Movie

These are the "other" Disney films which didn't come out of Disney studios, but they do deserve a mention. These are FULL LENGTH FEATURES ONLY. The list does not include animated films distributed but not produced by Disney. It also doesn’t include direct to video releases. The first column is the order in which they were released, and the second column is my opinion as to the ranking of the films. The "DNS" designator indicates one I have not seen. This list is accurate as the date of this post.

1 1 The Nightmare Before Christmas
2 DNS James and the Giant Peach
3 2 Dinosaur

Ratatouille Really Rocks

Ratatouille really rocks. This rodent tale, written and directed by Brad Bird of Incredibles fame, is one powerful film. When I first saw the previews, I'll be honest, I wasn't interested. I thought it was going to be the worst of the Pixar lot (Cars currently holds that honour in my opinion). Instead, I have to report this as, by far, the best thing to come out of Pixar, ever. In fact, this may be one of the best films to come out of Dinsey in years. It's not Lion King, but that's not fair because Lion King is a classic for the ages.

I have to tell you, this film may be a classic for the ages as well. I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this film. It worked on every level. It worked as a cartoon, because it is a cartoon. It worked as a kids' film because the kids were all entertained. It worked as an adult film because there were some very adult innuendos and double-entendres, some that even slipped by the censors judging by the "G" rating.

I wish I could tell you about some flaws in the film, but there aren't any major flaws. Sure, there are some bits the seem rushed, but at 110 minutes you're at the outer-reach of attention-span for a "kiddie cartoon." And the credibility of a talking rat that cooks is absurd, but so are the talking animals in Lion King, the fish in Finding Nemo, and the toys in Toy Story. You can't hold that against a film, or you'd not like Lord of the Rings either.

I can honestly tell you, go see this film. Twice.

The Big Puta (my trip to the Far East)

Hello:
(Last revised and updated 11-12-05)

Well, I'm back and here's the trip report for Taiwan, Hong Kong, and China brought to you by our sponsor: that nasty bitch Hurricane Wilma.

I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone how much I didn't want to go on this trip -- anyone who knows me heard me bitching about it relentlessly. It was definitely a bad omened trip from the get-go. My expectations for this trip were lower than Dubya's approval ratings. However despite my many complaints, this trip was an experience I will never forget, so in a sense I am glad I went.

The trip to Los Angeles from Miami was uneventful and on-time, which is all you can hope for from a trip. My luggage was checked straight through to Taipei so I didn't even have to deal with that. On future trips, I've learned that I will take much smaller luggage and use the overpriced hotel dry-cleaning service. The big luggage plan was a disaster at the very best -- keeping in mind that our suitcases were bigger than many of the cars we travelled in. Live and learn.

Upon arrival in LAX, I hung around for two hours awaiting Greg's arrival from Fort Lauderdale. We then walked from Terminal Four to Tom Bradley International Terminal and checked in for Air China of Taiwan. The trip from LAX to Taipei was scheduled at about 14 hours and it, too, was on-time (within 30 minutes qualifies as on-time in my book). At least we got to relax in the China Air business class lounge prior to departure. It was small and cramped, but it beats hanging around a terminal.

Let me tell you, a 14 hour flight seems a lot longer than it sounds, plus coupled with the 6 hour MIA-LAX trip and a four hour layover, it was a rough trip. All-in-all it was 26-1/2 hours door-to-door. Customs in Taiwan was a breeze, easier than the US in fact. As you walk through the airport towards customs, they have those full-body x-rays that show everything you have in your person. These are the same ones they want to install in the USA, but the ACLU has been adamantly opposed to due to privacy issues. I've got to say it was pretty cool to see yourself walking by with all your metallic possessions visible on a screen. I wouldn't object and it moves a great deal faster than what we have.

A few days prior to our departure, Greg had noticed the reviews on-line of the Westin in Taipei were less than satisfactory with phrases such as "Genghis Khan" populating the reviews. So, at his behest, we picked the Shangri-La Far Eastern Plaza, at NT$10500 (US$315) per night; it was costly but well worth it. It was the second best hotel I've ever stayed at and a truly impressive place. It actually helped to have a nice hotel with staff that spoke English (and even an American Breakfast buffet) to ease the transition from US to Chinese culture.

Our first day (Monday 10-17) started with a breakfast meeting. Since most of you don't care about the business aspect of this trip, I will skip most of that. However, I do have to point out a few things. We learned the average semi-skilled factory worker makes about US$800 per month or US$9600 per year and the working conditions are very rough on them. They work in hot, greasy, caustic environments wearing shorts and sandals. It's not very pleasant and I felt bad for them. Some factories are much worse than others, but I will skip the descriptions here and just let you see my pictures if you want.

As we drove around, there were a few details worth mentioning. The lowest octane gas they sell there is 93 and the highest is 98. It doesn't cost much more than here, either and it's full serve too so I was rather amused by that. There are 7-11 and Circle-K stores all over Taiwan as well as McDonald's and KFC and some other names you'd recognize as well: many of the restaurants are two story buildings and are always crowded. But their burgers are rice-based and not meat based. The popular local chain in Taiwan is Mos-Burger: you figure it out.

Speaking of driving, there are scooters everywhere. They dart in and out of traffic totally disregarding the traffic laws which are, apparently, only polite suggestions not to be taken seriously by any motorized vehicle, and especially not a scooter. It's amusing and amazing at the same time. And as bad as the drivers in Taiwan could be, they were sane compared to those in Shanghai. I will never set foot in Shanghai again -- it was terrifying.

Another oddity to Taiwan (everywhere except in Taipei city) was the Betel Box-Babes as I call them. On many of the roads there are these small glass boxes the size of mini-vans. Inside are very scantily dressed ladies. If you pull up and toot your horn, they run out and hand you their narcotic nuts and gum which helps keeps drivers awake. I can't explain this any better and our Taiwanese hosts did not discuss it much other than to say it was "bad". (Three links courtesy of David Higgins.)

Taipei itself was a very clean city. Everyone was exceedingly friendly. Many of the signs are bilingual. I'm sure I could find my way around without a guide. We even took the local (new) subway. I enjoyed it there, and wouldn't mind going back one day. It's friendly, clean, and safe.

The culture here is different and the business people all try and drink you under the table. The custom there is that if your host takes a drink, you have to drink the same amount. It's pretty much repeated bottoms-up toasts. After a ½ vial of sake, I gave up. (Sake is Japanese, but we were at a Japanese restaurant.)

All the meals there are multiple (usually 12) course events, served on a round, spinning table (aka the lazy-Susan-of-death). Some of the items are very good. Others leave a great deal to be desired. Fish heads in jelly, gelatinous eels, and sea cucumber are just some of the 'delights' to which I was subjected. Fish eye soup was the most repulsive looking one, though. I refused to even taste it. I do not like my meal looking back at me. Which reminds me that any dish with fish, lobster, prawns, or chicken is pretty much guaranteed to have the head attached when served -- in fact sometimes your fish is still alive when they serve it to you.

This brings us to the Rocky Horror Picture Show Food Moment. (This happened in Tainan, but I'm sticking it here because it's food related.) That morning our hosts from Taipei pick us up and prepare to take us on some factory tours in Tainan. They ask us what we'd like, and being totally sick of Chinese, I jokingly says 'a nice juicy steak' knowing full well we ain't getting one. So it's lunch time, and we're out at lunch with a typical lazy-Susan-of-death meal at a very authentic restaurant (containing no Americans but us and absolutely no trace of the English language). Our host goes to the kitchen area to pick out our meal as is customary, and we're resigned to another seafood extravaganza, and indeed I am not disappointed as I am served a fin from some unknown sea-entity. Then LO AND BEHOLD! in comes a plate of what appears to be small chopstick sized pieces of beef. It is handed to me first, and I take a piece and offer it to everyone. My colleague gets a piece as do the ladies from Taiwan. I take one bite and know something is seriously amiss. I've eaten cow, bison, deer, moose, caribou, and even horse and this is clearly none of them. I nudge Greg's foot to stop him from eating more; as I am preparing to do this, the Tainan big-shot looks pointedly at the plate and says (thought the interpreter) that "we don't eat beef because it is bad luck for business." I'm guessing it was dog, but I really don't want to know.

From Taipei, we went by car to Taichung. The Landis Taichung was a disappointment but even that wasn't too bad. We proceeded on to Chunghua but did not overnight there. I nearly created a serious incident when our host asked, as I understood it, if we wanted to see a very Big Puta. Speaking Spanish and knowing his company had a Spanish name, I started to laugh. It took me some time to realize his accent made Buddha sound like Puta. (It's often customary to offer your business guests a 'massage service' which I had to decline quite forcefully at times. These services come complete with the 'happy ending'.) This particular vendor was accommodating and afforded us the rare honour of inviting us into his very grand home for a tour: this is something that is not normally done over there.

We then drove on to Tainan finding the traffic jam from hell -- we sat in one spot for nearly an hour, later learning the highway was closed due to a huge accident. On the way to Tainan we passed the tracks for the new bullet train which will go from Taipei to Kaohsiung in 90 minutes making four stops. That will make any future trip a lot easier. We were told Tainan was an old, small town. It was pretty damned big: their view of small is not the same as our view of small. Each successive town was smaller and less tourist-friendly than the previous. Tainan had virtually no English outside the hotel, but the Tayhih Landis Tainan was very nice and modern. Like all American breakfasts in this country, it was served cold. (I had already learned to stuff myself at breakfast to avoid lunch at all costs.)

The more rural the city, the more likely you were to find the dreaded squat-toilet. There are very few western style toilets there where you can sit in comfort. They have a porcelain bowl (an oblong sink) right in the center of the floor. You squat over it and go. Oh, yeah, I hope you brought toilet paper because they generally don't provide it. Don't put your toilet paper in there either. There's a small wastebasket next to the squat-toilet for the paper as the pipes can't handle the paper. In modern places you will find a stall with a sign on the door "Western Toilet" or "Sitting Toilet" -- even in Hong Kong this is true.

From Tainan we went on to Kaohsiung, which was a bustling city; however the air was bit hazy and it had a certain odour about it. We stayed at the Grand Hi Lai which was a cool hotel with a fantastic view -- too bad the smog blocked it. We were luckily upgraded to an executive floor which made the stay enjoyable. The lobby sold chocolates which we partook of regularly. They also had erotic chocolates in amazing detail and they were just embarrassing to look at but quite amusing. I wonder if there were nuts in that one piece.... On a nearby cluster of buildings there was an entire amusement park built on the rooftops with a roller coaster, Ferris Wheel, carousels, etcetera; truly a sight to behold.

It was a very friendly town, but air-quality-wise not unlike Newark on a bad day. Like all Far Eastern cities, they have department stores. But these are stores with very specific departments and not like what we have now -- more like the old traditional department stores of yore. It's sort of like individual offices that sell one brand (Burberry) with its own employees, and everything. It's closer to being a mall that a department store. We wasted some time at the mall here looking for a Buddha for Greg's desk. One of the factories we visited (a coating company) was bragging how the average worker lived to be almost 40 years old. Imagine that.

Once again we noticed some rather overt apparently racist attitudes which we found shocking. Invariably the topic of hurricanes came up and Katrina was part of that. They expressed universal disgust at the way it was handled, and we basically agreed. However more upsetting were their comments that at least it was just the poor people or weren't they all black, anyway and other remarks. We got this a number of times and it was shocking. I'm not sure what to make of it.

From Kaohsiung we flew to Hong Kong on DragonAir. Security here is like it used to be in the 1970s in the USA, that is to say virtually non-existent. I could have carried pretty much anything other than live ammunition through and I doubt they would have cared. I highly recommend DragonAir. The flight was fantastic, the service was friendly, and the plane left early because everyone was on board! They didn't make us sit around pointlessly awaiting a phantom departure time.

Hong Kong (locally known as Hongkong, SAR, PRC) customs was relatively easy. Although it returned to Chinese rule in 1997 after England's lease expired, it remains entirely British down to left-hand driving. Everything is in English or bilingual. Much of the population speaks English, and they're very friendly. The subway is awesome and we used it extensively. They also have an Airport Express train which goes from the airport to both Kowloon and Hong Kong proper saving you a very expensive cab ride. Sort of like Heathrow Express but more modern and much faster.

Hong Kong is beyond description and I will gladly return there one day to spend some time. This is one of those rare cities I fell in love with. Hong Kong is a very tall city. There are 100s of buildings over 60 floors many of which are residences/condominiums all of which were embarrassingly small and overpriced at the same time. There is lots of green. Victoria Harbour is amazing as is the Peak's view of the city. We did both of those famous places, took the Walk of Stars, traipsed along Nathan Road, and even took the Star Ferry. We saw an authentic Chinese Junk sailing by. We went to a Night Market where you can buy all sorts of overpriced stuff, but you can often haggle it down to nearly half of the asking price.

This is one of those rare cities you can fall in love with. It is, however, embarrassingly expensive, in fact although it ranks below London and Tokyo on the 'most expensive cities in the world list' I found it to be considerably more expensive. An iced tea is around US$7 and no free refills either. There are many shops, but the famed Hong Kong bargain no longer exists for standard items, though for bespoke clothing you can't go wrong here.

We went to Hong Kong Disney for about 3 hours. It just opened in September 2005 and is accessible by its own private subway/metro route. It's not overly expensive but it's very, very small. Space Mountain (very cool) is the only coaster attraction, and many big attractions simply aren't here: Pirates, Big Thunder, Haunted Mansion, are all missing here. We were done in 3 hours having done all the rides we wanted to. Although they have FastPass, it's not needed. As much as I hate to say it, if you take a pass on this park you aren't missing anything but the spectacular view of the castle with a background of a mountain.

[We considered going home before Wilma once we were aware of it and how severe it might be. For days it looked like it might not hit, or if it did it would be a minor storm. By the time the forecast changed, there was no way we could make it home before the storm hit. So we opted to be productive and continue our trip, figuring we could fly home after it passed. We would find out that the airports were damaged as was everything else. Airports back in our area resumed operations 10-28, and we were scheduled to be back home on 10-30, so at that point we finished the trip. I put this in because so many people asked what our thinking was.]

Because China doesn't recognize Taiwan as an independent nation, converting currency is done in Hong Kong where they take your NT$ convert them to any third currency and then that third currency to Yuan (RMB). It's a very costly procedure. Don't go to Hong Kong or China with Taiwanese money. We took DragonAir on to Shanghai, one of the most populated cities on earth at over 17 million people (more than most countries). We landed through a smogish haze reminiscent of 1980s Los Angeles only worse.

Chinese customs is scary. First, the paperwork is a lot more complex than anywhere else I've been (US included) and there's a medical form to fill out. As you stand in line -- which moves at a glacial pace -- there are doctors scanning the crowd along with lots of police. After medical clearance, you move to passport control where they check your passport, visa, and finally send you through. This process is slow because they study every single stamp in your passport -- and mine is nearly full. There is a big sign that says "The People's Republic of China may refuse to allow you entry into or exit from China without providing any reason" in many languages. Also, they have a separate customs line for Taiwanese citizens. Taiwanese citizens can't fly to China directly: they have to take a 90 minute detour, fly to Hong Kong and then into China because China also will not allow flights from their 'renegade province' -- to say political relations are strained is an understatement. The citizens don't much seem to care.

When you get your first whiff of Shanghai air, you will quote Gollum. "It burns! It burns!" And it's brown and thick. I have to tell you, it's just grotesque. The drivers here are the worst drivers in the universe: they make New Yorkers and Bostonians seem positively calm. In our "pray we make it" car ride to the city, we passed the world's only commercially operating MagLev train which gets from the airport to the city's main train station in 8 minutes going almost 300 miles per hour. It's amazing and I wish we'd have taken it, but our luggage made it impractical, so we were stuck in the one hour car ride from hell.

Shanghai has bicycles like Taiwan has scooters. They're everywhere and they drive no better than the cars. Shanghai is a fascinating city, and I'm sure many people would like it, but I can't say much except it was a unique experience. Greg and myself spent more time walking around Shanghai than any of the other cities simply because we had more time. The city is dirty, I can't emphasize that enough. My eyes, two days later, still are burning like hell and my lungs won't be clear for days. We walked down Nanjing Road, the Bund, and saw the Yangtze which makes the Hudson look like a pristine mountain lake.

The trip home was on China Eastern Airlines. It might not mean much to you, and it didn't mean much to us either. Before I rant, I want to say the flight attendants were delightful and put up with us in good humour. Other than that, I want to remind everyone to never, ever, no matter what, fly an airline owned by a Communist government. The "food" was ample but if you don't want to eat the "meal" who cares. I did not eat my lamb chops for lunch because they were too greasy and unappetizing. When my breakfast came, they put my uneaten lamb chops on top of my omelette. The seats while big could use more padding, the waiting area for the flight was Spartan at best. And, while I'm at it, Pudong airport makes any other major look like a masterpiece. (The design is nice, it's what's IN the airport.) Did you know you can't get a chocolate bar at the airport? Really.

Customs in LAX was a breeze though they didn't have luggage transfer points, so we had to haul our luggage from Tom Bradley to Terminal four. Although we were worried we'd miss our flight, it ended up being an hour late so we were cool. Greg conned us into the Admiral's Club where we waited for the trip home. The rest of the flight was uneventful and I'll end my tale here so you don't have to hear the agony of me coming home to what Wilma did to my home.

I will gladly answer questions if you have any.