Crazy Frog, Led Zeppelin, and Masturbating

I originally made a post called Crazy Frog or Coldplay back on June 3rd, 2005. Pretty innocuous, eh? Well, it's interesting because over 25% of the people who find their way to my blog are looking for that post. Another 20% are looking for my post from March 5th, 2005 called Why Led Zeppelin Sucks which, ironically, has NOTHING to do with Led Zeppelin sucking, because they don't suck.

Neither of those posts was intended to attract people to my blog. They were just rantings I made on topics I have an opinion on. However, between the two of them, they're generating hundreds of hits every week -- over 50% of my traffic, in fact. I am not sure I should thank Google or not. Then there's the people find my site via, sadly, a search on the term "Anal Psoriasis" which bears no further discussion.

One day, I decided to make a post that would drive people to my site to increase traffic. I cheated and used a sex term Masturbation. Did that bring traffic? Nope. Nary a visitor. So far my blog has over 22,000 hits -- most of them in the past year. That's more than my most of my web pages. I was hoping, secretly, that some people would click on the Google ads and help me earn money towards the upkeep of this site, but that hasn't happened. I'm not even earning a dime a day, so nobody's clicking.

I cannot explain the traffic at this site and have given up trying. I do find it interesting, amusing, and terribly frustrating. If you're not into clicking on ads, there's always the donate link as well which goes right to my ISP and stays out of my grubby little hands.

Also, I cannot figure out why that one thread (Why Led Zeppelin Sucks) has more comments than the rest of my blog in its entirety.

That's really all I have to say right now. I have no point, but thought I'd up and ramble a bit. If you want to comment here, that'd be great as long as it isn't about Zeppelin -- go to that other thread if you have to have your two cents. Or better yet, go to my Happy New Year's Post and comment there -- I actually asked my readers to say where they were from and it was universally ignored.

Come on! 22,000 visitors and nobody has anything intelligent to say?

Masturbation

(DISCLAIMER: This post has absolutely nothing to do with Masturbation)

So, I go to my friend Rob's blog as I do every few days and I run across this post entitled masturbation-mania! Well, it's got nothing to do with masturbation at all. However, he observes that by simply using it in a previous post, his traffic has doubled. He ponders what this says about the Internet.

I must say that one wonders if you used words such as sex, intercourse, anal, and oral in the same post if it would also have the same effect. It also begs the question what type of person it would bring. Or would you get deviants looking for paedophilia, bestiality, or worse?

I mean, take my Led Zeppelin Sucks topic*. I don't even say that they suck. I was merely expressing an opinion that they were overrated, but I literally got thousands of hits, and a number of comments. I've had to delete a lot of the comments due to rather profane remarks, but there are over fifty intelligent and opposing opinions which remain.

I am interested in finding out exactly what keywords drive people to a site? I could be like Rob and just put the word "Penis" or "Vagina" in every post and see what comes in**. Or I could experiment with other words. The whole thing is mightily intriguing.

"Oral Stimulation Teens Masturbation Penis Vagina Bestiality Tits" <-- just to make it exciting. I am making no judgements on any visitor's proclivities. I am monitoring traffic. Let's see what happens. Intelligent replies greatfully accepted. * Replies to THIS topic involving Led Zeppelin will be deleted. If you must comment on the Rockers, please use the original link above to reply.

** Pun intended.

For the record, no discernible change in traffic was reported as a result of this post (9-5-05 addendum)