Identity Theft And BankAtlantic A New Case

I had a long, involved fraud case with BankAtlantic from February of this year. There were three posts (One, Two, Three) and I only refer to them for my less-frequent readers. I had decided to keep my money there because it was convenient, they noted my new account (and all closed accounts) that there were fraud restrictions and everything had to be checked with photo IDs. I heard no more about it and had put it behind me.

I need to point out that BankAtlantic has a unique typo in my address that nobody else has. The only place this typo occurs is INSIDE the BankAtlantic computer. Mail was always sent to an alternate address (which also, oddly, contains a unique typo in their computer). Nobody else on the planet has this uniquely incorrect address of mine. Everyone else has it correct.

I came home from work today and had a big fat envelope from BankAtlantic. At home. With the same uniquely misspelled address. (Insert Klaxon Here). I open it, and it contains a letter thanking me for opening a brand new savings account and lists the account number. Yeah, except I didn't open a new account.

I call them immediately. The lady is helpful and asks me a number of security questions because, of course, there are notes on the account. She also notes money has been transferred from my checking (real) account to the savings (fake) account. I ask her to close the account. She needs a supervisor. They both note that the account was opened over the phone with no sort of valid ID provided. They close the account and transfer the money back. They try to get the fraud department (aka Security Department) on the phone without luck as it's after 530pm. They also try to call the person who opened the account with no luck. They suggest I call Monday. I thank them and hang up.

I get in my car and drive to the local BankAtlantic branch. I see someone and explain what happened. I ask for a cashier's check for the sum in my account. I am told they need to get a supervisor to sign it. I say that's fine. She says she's not sure if one's available. I tell her to have one drive over from another branch and I'll wait. She's not sure if she can do that. I said I will gladly take cash. She tries to tell me there may not be enough cash, which I find laughable. I don't have that much money.

She then runs into the back of the bank to consult with the supervisor (I assume the same one who isn't available). She comes back and is on the phone trying to call the security department, the person who opened the account, and so forth.

I remind her that it's my money and I have politely requested it. They are legally obligated to give it to me as long as it's under $100,000 -- and I can assure you it was NOWHERE near that amount, though I wish it was. She stalls and tries to get me to keep my account open.

I tell her I won't leave without my money and they can lock me in if they'd like. Amazingly, I get my money and the account is closed along with many apologies from the supervisor (who I must be imagining since she's not available). I remind her that they've already broken the law by opening an account without following legal procedures -- and they've done it TWICE now. And they ought to find out which employee is the crook.

I go to another financial institution -- again I need an account in a bank that's open on weekends. But I do most of my financial dealings with a traditional bank. I open my account and return home.

I am going to make one last phone call to the BankAtlantic fraud department and relay this last story. There is a close to 100% chance it's an inside job at the bank. If you have an account here, you probably need to reconsider the wisdom of that.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

4-28-08: Update redacted 4-30-08 at the request of BankAtlantic Fraud Department.

Stuff I am currently thinking about....

1. I miss the Fab One-Shot. The best laundry product ever. I discovered it in college. Obviously invented by a guy. No need to think. One packet in with the clothes and it contained detergent, fabric softener, everything. Then move the whole batch to the dryer. All done. SCORE!
2. The Aero bar. No longer available in the US -- most people here just didn't go for it -- but thankfully I can still get them in Canada and the UK. Mom brought me one and I intend to eat it tomorrow.
3. Smarties. Yum. Screw M&Ms. Smarties are way better. Not for sale in the USA due to a trademark issue with the US Smarties. Totally different candies.
4. Josh. I should know better, but I don't. ::mutter:: Oh, and Eric Hedlund, too. I wonder what he's doing right now?
5. Austri. I really do have to tell her about the Billy Crystal concert being cancelled. Tomorrow for sure. Which reminds me, my trade show in Vegas is rapidly approaching.
6. Banana Nesquik. I am running low and the other brands are just not as good.
7. Milo has returned to the USA and I've just bought some at my Publix. I first had it on the Caribbean island nation of Dominica when I was a kid.
8. Schweppes Lemonade -- a UK only drink, not for sale in the USA. I'd like some right now.
9. My review of Vladimir Tod from Friday. I'm thinking I'll re-read it again.
10. The fact I spent $180 on the plumber. He was here for 16 minutes. But the shower in my guest bathroom works again.
11. I am itchy.
12. Dinner did not fill me up. I am hungry. I am a pig. Blech.
13. Adrian because we ended up not skating and not seeing a movie. Nobody is to blame because it just didn't work out.
14. London. I'm half tempted to go for the weekend. I could use miles. Leave Friday night. Arrive Saturday morning. Spend the day there. Fly home Sunday morning. Travel is great. No way would I do it. But I like thinking about it. Nobody would be crazy enough to go with me, anyway. Foyle's, Forbidden Planet, the London Transport Museum, a tour of the new Bond exhibit at the Imperial War Museum, maybe a show, a dinner at Rules, and a trip on the Eye. I could it all in that one day. That does sound fun, doesn't it?
15. Both The Simpsons and Family Guy are repeats tonight. Hence my ruminations on number 9 above.
16. I was thinking about Rob Barry. He wrote me -- snail mail -- two years ago and said we ought to write something together. I wrote him back twice (email and snail mail) and never heard back. That's a project that has always interested me. Rob's smart. I like Rob.
17. I'm still vexed by converting Claris Resolve to a current format, especially now that I can't even run OS-9 reliably.
18. I was thinking about visiting Pystar's offices to discuss the Mac clone. Pystar is a short drive from my house. I'm sure they're scammers, but I want to see for myself. If I'm wrong, I'll buy one.
19. I need a literary agent still. I'll never get published without one. One day... One day...
20. Scooter's vet check-up went well, so another 90 days of hopeful good health. Everything was as normal as could be. The thyroid medications is working her kidneys are starting to fail but she's compensating well.
21. How to get more traffic to my Panthers (and other teams) Hockey Message boards.

In This Weekend's News

I am disgusted with the Panthers. I am disgusted with the Panthers Management, for they are most of the reason I am disgusted with the Panthers. I won't bore you gentle readers with such a diatribe here, but it's posted over at my Panthers Hockey Message Board if you want to read it, though posting does require membership. Related to that, I've been invited to a NO TIME LIMIT meeting with the owner Alan Cohen (along with other season seatholders). I must assume my invitation was an error, but I've RSVP'd and am going. They have no idea what they're in for. I will be polite, professional, and brutally scathing. They shall wither before my causticity. May God have mercy on their souls because I shan't.

I have begun the slow process of selling my random computer items on E-bay. I've started with some low-end, cross-platform software. All bids start at a buck (99 cents) and have no reserve. The list of what will slowly appear there is at my website and if you see something, contact me directly. We can work something out before it goes on e-bay. Friends and family get items free or at embarrassingly low prices. A friend has already claimed my G5 so that's not listed; I'm shipping it off Monday. I took considerably less than I'd have gotten off E-bay but it's going to a good home, and that's more important to me than the extra money.

Yesterday I hung out with Timmy for the first time in awhile. He's still the same. Take that as you will.

I saw Adrian today and we had breakfast and went skating. The movie bit was cancelled because he had work to do. I had also seen him Thursday when he came and got the old TV in the guest room. My guest room now has HDTV -- see my previous post, item number six :)

We did stop, on the way back to his house, at the newly-reopened CompUSA (now a division of Tiger Direct). I gotta remember to let Tom know just for his amusement.

I cleaned Scooter's ears yesterday. I went to the grocery store, spent $50 and noticed I don't have anything to eat. Sucks to be me. The final four doesn't interest me this year, nor does the current NHL playoff picture though that may change. I am doing laundry, and I was going to go to the mall to kill time but I'm just not motivated. So I am blogging instead. Lame? Probably.

All Sorts of Tidbits II

Ah, yes, the compendium type post. Sure to be of interest to no-one, except, guess what? You're here reading it. So it must interest someone at least little on some level. That or your RSS reader has let you down in a spectacular fashion.

1. First, the blog is approaching 200,000 posts and I expect we'll hit that number this summer. Though recent traffic has dropped off a bit. I cannot believe how many hits I get, though about 70% of them are what I deem a "worthless" hit. To me, that's someone who reads the one post they came across and never comes back to the blog again.
2. Secondly the mix of visitors has slowly started to change. Search engine referrals are down to 73.5% while website referrals are up to 26% -- Google still provides most of our traffic (75% of that 73%).
3. My post on Led Zeppelin still remains the single most popular post and it generates people who linger and read the 300+ comments. Following that is the post about Daniel Radcliffe's Penis which generates more worthless hits than anything -- apparently people think they're getting the goods from my website. I think not. In third place is the Dell Sucks post which generates traffic as well as getting me lots of sympathetic e-mails. In fourth place is the Crazy Frog post, which like the Penis post, is worthless for valuable traffic. All other posts generate insignificant traffic when measured over time. Short-term some posts like mine on Wolfgang Van Halen and Terry Brooks generate short-terms bursts but then people move on to whatever else is news.
4. A special shout-out goes to Maury Wilkinson. She's the one who challenged me to make a blog. So I should thank her for that. But that's not why she's getting the shout-out here. She's been bugging me forever to get a TiVo. I broke down and got a DVR today (which she calls a Ti-Faux because it's a generic one) so I don't have to miss House, Heroes, and Lost any more. We'll see how I like it.
5. I love being a grammar Nazi. No, really. I'm not perfect but I am better than most people. And I certainly know the difference between your/you're and it's/its -- which about 80% of the people who write me obviously don't. I started a thread on my Panthers Hockey Message Board (which actually tracks back to another thread on a different board). I am only mentioning this because the thread is awesome. And better yet, the spiteful bitch on the original thread, who apparently runs the LED board, made an ass out of herself, engaged in petty-name calling, and then used RED on the matrix board to make the error worse.
The thread got locked and the entire ad was gone from the last game. Victory is mine! (Okay, it's got nothing to do with me or anything I said, but still.)
6. My guest room is now wired for HDTV for the benefit of my guests. And I've installed a new flat-screen LCD TV. Isn't that great? Except I don't like guests. Damn -- I think that may be ironic. That's why I'm in the process of finding a new home for my Sony KV27EXR10.
7. I saw Horton Hears a Who. It is surprisingly good. Really. Except when they break into song at the end -- a clear Shrek rip-odd. Everyone knows the story, has read the book, etcetera so there's no point in me going over it. You will like it. Visually appealing, very entertaining, and just a good film. Really. Saw previews for Ice Age 3, Narnia: Caspian, Wall-E and Speed Racer. I can't wait to see the first three. I was looking forward to Speed Racer but the preview has me reconsidering.
8. My neck still hurts (see accident report) and though it was getting better, it's acting up again. Not sure why. But my C4 vertebrae is in the wrong place according to the x-ray the chiropractor took. I definitely have whiplash. Progressive Insurance are being serious poopy-heads about it, and I've written a letter to their CEO and the State of Florida Insurance Commissioner. They lied to me, and I caught them in the lie. They also tried to get me to sign a waiver of rights including all future rights. I'm not even cured yet and they want to buy me off for a small pittance. I was very up-front. I want them to pay my medical bills. Nothing more and nothing less. Apparently they think this is unfair. State Law entitles to me reimbursement for missed work and other benefits. I wasn't really excited about the paperwork, but I suppose I have to do it now. It's clear they are lying scum and do not have my best interests at heart. Ultimately, I will be better so I'm not worried about long term issues, but if they think I'm signing a waiver for something down the road, they're nuts. What if something was missed on the x-ray? Too many things could go wrong. Woe be the person who gets rear-ended by a Progressive policy holder. Progressive Sucks. They must use Dell laptops :)
9. I am opposed to bio-fuels. Why? Food should not be used to operate cars when people are starving to death all over the planet. I can't imagine why anyone thinks this is a good idea.

Why Sharper Image Went Bust (Plus Bonus Medical Update)

First, a few words on The Sharper Image. It was for many years a very cool store. I went to their original store in San Francisco way back in the 1980s when I was a student at Cal (GO BEARS!) I frequented their store on Market Street right near the Powell and Montgomery BART stations and a short walk to either the California or Powell Street cable cars.

What made the store so attractive to me and my geek friends were the gadgets. Cool gadgets that you couldn't find anywhere. Granted these gadgets didn't do anything, but that wasn't the point. They had a cool replica of the Walther PPK James Bond carried, life-size Darth Vader statues, full size pinball machines, and all sorts of useless but very neat electronics.

When I came back to Miami and they opened their first store in Florida at Bayside there were waiting lines to get in. A store at Dadeland Mall followed and it was the same thing. People were banging their doors down to get in. Then, slowly over time, they changed. More useful, practical things. They lost their cool factor. Basically they turned into Brookstone. I love Brookstone. If I want Brookstone, I go there. Sharper Image lost their caché. All my friends, and me, stopped going there. They forgot who their customer was. The most important thing in business is to know your customer and what they want. Sharper Image decided we wanted pillows, massage chairs, luggage, and air purifiers. They just didn't ask us, their customers. And the sad part is they're blaming all sorts of factors on their failures, but that isn't why they failed. Bad Management because they lost sight of their goals.

Medical Update (1): More on the car accident from previous psots. My upper back and shoulders and neck are killing me. The x-rays are negative but something is wrong. My chiropractor thinks it's whiplash but that's got nothing to do with my mid-back. And now I'm getting these random pains in my kidney -- short, sharp pain that lasts a few seconds and vanishes. (On the plus side my hip isn't hurting any more...)

Medical Update (2): I went to the eye doctor yesterday. I got the worst diagnosis possible. I was there because my eyesight is deteriorating at a noticeable rate. The diagnosis: I'm getting old. He said there's nothing wrong that wasn't wrong before. My left eye is shot and always has been. My right eye is no longer perfect. It will continue to get worse and there's nothing I can do. He gave me a new prescription but told me not to fill it until I can't stand this one anymore. I'm going to try and go until my birthday if I can. I still try and not use them to read books and such -- plain black on white and it's not too bad.

Pain in the Neck (Literal)

Ouch. Today hurts much worse than yesterday. I am sore in my shoulders, my entire neck, upper back, and a little in my lower back. I have this burning sensation that goes from one shoulder blade to the other. And the weird random pain in my right hip. The insurance people told me that this is normal -- a few days after is when it hits. Well, it hit.

I am going to hospital first thing in the morning for x-rays to see if there's anything obvious. After that it's up to the doctor, but perhaps an MRI or two. Joy. Joy. Joy.

In other related news, Progressive is not being cooperative (they're the insurers of records of the lady who hit us). Per state law, I've contacted my insurance company who is going to have to deal with it now. I am displeased.

Randomness Part Eight

What a weekend. The Panthers won Friday and Sunday giving us a total of four wins in a row. Yay, Panthers.

Next up, I'm sitting in Thomas' car on Sunday and he's driving. We're both wearing seat belts. Though I often give him crap for his driving, he's a pretty good (ie: very cautious) driver. So Saturday afternoon at around 310pm, we're leaving Office Depot, and he stops at a stop sign. He starts to go, but someone comes flying by at warp 30 in a car, so he stops again. They pass. He's in the process of looking both ways when some lady in a Black Honda Accord rear ends us at a high rate of speed causing us to lurch forward about 6 to 10 feet. We both get out and survey the damage -- most of which is to Thomas' car. They trade insurance info, though Timmy fails to get her driver's license number, and I got down her tag number. They decide not to call the cops. Thomas is fine, me not so much. As they're wrapping up I notice my neck is unusually sore on the left side where it joins the shoulder.

Thomas goes home (a five minute drive) and calls his insurance agent and their insurance agent. They want to talk to me since I'm injured. They ask me for my auto insurance details. Really. I refuse to provide it since I was not driving and my car was not present. I hate this already. In other news, gets worse as the hours tick by. I try to ignore it because that's how I am. Today it hurts more, sore to the touch. My back hurts a little and my right hip a lot.

Adrian cancelled skating on me today, which is probably for the best anyway. I went grocery shopping and then to Walgreens for some drugs. Yay, drugs. Doing laundry now.

Watched some of the Pens vs Capitals game on TV and some stuff on the science channel. I did a great deal of work my tax packet. I hate taxes. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE. So much work.

Had dinner with Jason last week. That was fun to see him, Jenny, and Erica again. We really have to do that more often.

UK newspapers such as the Daily Mail and the Telegraph are reporting yesterday and today on an expected deal between Sir Paul McCartney and Apple, Inc. to bring the Beatles catalog to iTunes. According to the Telegraph, the deal could be worth as much as £300 million. An Apple Corps label spokesperson said that the date "has not yet been set." The deal has been much delayed. But industry insiders say that by the end of the year fans using iTunes will be able to buy songs from albums such as Help! and Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Former hits from albums such as Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, the White Album, and Help are expected to top the download charts for several months on release. I envision the long rumoured Yellow Submarine iPod which I will purchase on opening day because I must own one.

Randomness Part Sept

First, a shout out to David Higgins for this awesome video of Pan American Airlines transatlantic flights back in the days when flying was enjoyable.

Woe is us for modern air travel. Spend the 12-1/2 minutes and watch this promotional film. It's a hoot, a gas, and so forth.

I spent quite a few dollars ($3.25) on tolls today. It's Adrian's fault. I am going to buy a tire jack and beat him senseless with it. It won't take long to beat him there as he's almost there already. We finally had breakfast but it took awhile due to the fact Adrian thinks feeding cats is complicated and takes 20 minutes.

Skated today. Yay skating. Only got an hour in, though. After which I got gas at the world's slowest pump. The pump at the Hammocks Mobil took 11 minutes to pump 17.5 gallons.

We saw Spiderwick Chronicles. The concept was good and I didn't hate it but the acting was absolutely atrocious from everyone except the old Lucy. Ham. Lots of ham. But not a bad movie if you can get past the Over Emoting style of acting.

I finished "Little Tom of England" by Madeline Brandeis. Not a good book by any measure but it's entirely quaint and a satisfying read nonetheless. I made sure to drag this out over two months for the sheer pleasure of it, though it is, at best, a 45 minute read. (Edit: Mom, who gave me this book, reminded me to tell everyone this book was published in 1935.)

I am now home doing laundry. I might do my tax preparation today if I can get motivated. If not, I'll just screw around on the computer instead of working. Which shall it be?

I have an upcoming trade show in Las Vegas in early May. Austri may be joining me :)

Last week I replaced all the switch plate and electrical outlet covers. Gone are the standard off-white ones in every home and installed are brushed chrome and/or brushed pewter models. They look good. They're all done except the phone jacks (too much work, but I'll get there) and the stuff behind furniture. My meteorite (see Flickr) has a case and stand now in glass and faux-pewter wood. Very nice.

Lost Explained, Plumbers, Travertine Marble, and Macs

There have been so many theories on LOST, I've lost track. This one which I found via Stumble-Upon today is absolutely stellar. It works. Makes sense. It's a very long post so make sure you have time to read and think. It's got some holes but I really, really, like this one.

Today, the plumber came to fix the ballcock on my guest bathroom toilet. Actually he replaced the whole mechanism because it had a small leak. I only mention this because it's not often you get to say ballcock when there's not a dirty joke involved. I wish I could work in a badminton reference and say shuttlecock. I can't. So I won't say shuttlecock.

My shower work is done. My three day semi-expensive job turned into a ten day long ordeal. However, the old shower was ripped out. The leaky shower-pan was replaced -- and a good thing because it was developing a mould collection. The new shower has authentic travertine marble tiling. I like it except for the light fixture (which I'll replace) and the door (too short for my tastes). I am pleased, though. I missed being in my bathroom because it was just weird being the guest bathroom for so long.

My new Mac is chugging along nicely except for the firewire issue. What firewire issue you may ask. Well let me tell you then :) An edited version of what I sent to Apple's Engineering Department:

I thought it was just me having problems but then I've since had other friends with similar problems. We have a technology provider that deals directly with Apple an I spoke the Apple Rep. A few days later they called back and confirmed there ARE problems on a wide scale and they're "checking into the cause but are leaning towards the monitor having faulty hardware."

Now, on to the nitty-gritty. This bug manifests itself as follows.

To rule out other issues, ALL OTHER EXTERNAL DEVICES BOTH USB AND FIREWIRE (except mouse and keyboard obviously) were removed from the chain: CPU, Monitor, Hubs, everything.

This problem is specifically related to the 23" new cinema display and the firewire port/hub built in to the new Intel 2x4core3.2ghz. This machine is about a week old as is the monitor. Hot off the press. All external devices were previously plugged into a dual-core G5 with similar specifications and functioned normally.

What happened is that if you plug the monitor into the rear firewire ports an external firewire HD (800 or 400) will eventually overload the system and disable the entire firewire bus on ALL ports. I tried two different external firewire drives (on the 400 and 800 ports in front and back of the machine with NOTHING plugged into the monitor but the monitor plugged into the machine's rear port (tried both ports). I also tried various cables.

Apparently the internals of the machine have one shared bus and even though the system is powered it can't handle an external drive. The drive in question is one of the 1-TB Western Digitals (I'm not using their drivers -- just the default Apple stuff).

When you access the external drive and open it, you get the root directory for that drive, but then when you open a folder the drive over-spins and then powers down. Checking in System Profiler shows that the Firewire Bus cannot be read. All firewire devices stop working. You must POWER DOWN THE SYSTEM to recover. Moving down to 400 didn't help.

I tried this with two different Firewire Drives. Happily the data was not too badly damaged by the unexpected power down. DiskWarrior to the rescue.

At first I thought I had an isolated incident with my specific machine or monitor being bad which is when I slowly begin trying to isolate it by removing equipment from the equation. (I have firewire external Sony AIT, iOmega ZIP, Memorex DVD+RW drives in addition to the HD. Since USB is unaffected I left those out of the equation and unplugged).

So after narrowing it down to the monitor and hard drive, I went to Google (gotta love Google because it knows everything) and typed the error message about the bus being unreadable. There are *TONS* of matches and everyone is having firewire bus problems but nobody has apparently isolated it yet. But it's my observation and gut feeling that there is an endemic problem with the monitor's firewire using too much power from the machine *OR* the machine's firewire bus is insufficiently powered. The fact that it powered down the drive and rendered the bus dead supports this hypothesis. (Or, more likely, a combination of an issue between the Mac and the monitor.)

This information is VERY good and solid and tested carefully. It's not perfectly tested but Apple ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY has an issue. The hard drive worked fine on my G5 Mac (2x2ghz) in the same FW800 port with ALL the above devices attached. That rules out the machine handily.

Continued testing causes repeated bus power downs and will continue to damage my hard drive which is why I don't want to keep testing my drive.

It's some sport of an electrical issue with bus power over your firewire chain. I suspect that with all those ports on the machine plus the monitor added in, the stress is too much and it gives up.

I will, shortly, have a lot more Mac hardware for sale including (possibly) a Cinema Display, a Dual Processor G5, and more. Contact me for details.

Fraud Case Update Part Two

My money is back in my account as of this morning. YAY!

However, there's more. Because my old on-line banking account was locked out because of fraud, I had to go to the branch (my local branch) to reactivate it with the new account. Well guess what, kiddies? There was a new on-line account created so someone could monitor my account online.

To avoid revealing evidence, I'll skip the details. However, this got caught when they asked me my security question and we found the answers were all changed. Tomorrow, I will advise BankAtlantic of these new details. It gets curiouser and curiouser. The lady at BankAtlantic was kind enough to let me know they log IP addresses. That will be useful.

I've also never used phone banking. Honestly, I didn't even KNOW there was such a thing. However on 1 February 2008 there were two phone banking calls as well. Obviously not by me. Too many red flags with too much information to be anything but an inside job.

I'd really like to thank my friends who showed support, offered to lend me funds temporarily, took me out to eat, and all that sort of stuff in addition to the moral support. I won't update this story again until I get some real news, but this was of enough interest to share with all of you.

Fraud Case Update

This is an update to my previous post. I can't reveal much more yet due to an ongoing investigation and the fact I don't want to compromise it. This will take quite awhile so don't expect much more than what you read here for months.

Happily, I should have my money back within 48 hours. I didn't even have to ask, which made me happy. I will keep my account at BankAtlantic based on their actions.

The case is being investigated by both the FBI and US Secret Service as well as the Broward County Sheriff's office. I will be fully cooperating. I will not release any further information at this time. Draw whatever conclusions you feel appropriate based on these statements.

Eric Defrauded. Police Called. People Arrested.

First, I want to assure you I will gladly and fully cooperate in any investigation and gladly testify and cooperate in any way. I want the people who did this to stay in jail for a very, very long time.

Here’s what transpired so far. This is edited to remove details from an ongoing investigation.

On the morning of 2-7-08 I received a call at work from Marvin at the Bank Atlantic in Lauderhill, Florida. He asks if I’ve written checks to Renee Johnson and Eldora Golden. I tell him no. He asks me again if I’m absolutely sure because I had also written one yesterday. I tell him I didn’t write one yesterday either. He says he’ll call the police and call me back.

Around noon I speak to Marvin because I hadn’t heard back. He said they were arrested by Detective Charles Smith. I leave a message but don’t hear back. Marvin also tells me to call the Metro-Dade Police (where I live) which I also do. I leave work early because I am too upset to concentrate. They come to my home around 330 or so. The detective asks for my Lauderhill case number which we don’t have. He calls Detective Smith but gets no answer. Then he’s directed to the BSO who finally tells him it was actually processed by Detective Alexis. The Miami Detective (Werente) asks me to call Detective Alexis and get some information while he does some paperwork. I then put Detective Alexis on the phone with the Metro Detective. They talk while I sit and try not to panic any worse.

Both Detetives Alexis and Werente we very nice considering I was pretty shaken and in an especially cranky mood over this. I’m glad everyone was patient with me.

At this point all the paperwork still shows one check because the bank informed me and Detective Werente when he called from my house that only the one check was cashed. However when I get to the bank, their computer shows three checks are cashed effectively wiping out most of the account. Eventually I hope to recover this, though the banks says it will take up to 30 days.

I had originally suspected Maid Brigade’s cleaning crew because someone obviously got a hold of a paper check. I don’t use paper checks and I’ve only written a few in six months and half were to Maid Brigade. Most of my banking is done using on-line checks.

I had the fax copies of the checks used to defraud. My original checks were Smithsonian Space Logo checks and are small. These checks are completely different colour, shape, and size.

Now, here’s the kicker. The fake checks are encoded with my HOME address. My PO BOX address is on my real checks. None of my financial data is sent to my home address with the SOLE exception of Bank Atlantic and the IRS. I don’t give anyone my home address. Even my utility and credit card bills go to my PO BOX address. I think we can rule the IRS out as a feasible suspect. That leaves a Bank Employee with access to my data. That also explains the signatures and the fact someone got checks printed with the right check numbers, MICR encoding, and such.

Further when Detective Werente and I called in the afternoon trying to get information from the bank for his paperwork, they also said an ATM card was issued on the account. That requires a social security number because they're debit cards. That information can only come from the bank. It certainly rules out the maid service. I still have my original checks with these numbers in my possession.

Upon returning home I checked my other financial accounts (credit cards, credit reports at the three major credit bureaus, and so forth). There were no unusual transactions or information on any of them. This doesn’t appear to be identity theft. It does appear to be criminal fraud in cahoots with someone at the bank with access to my information.

Renee Johnson is a minor and will be released into the custody of her parents. Eldora Golden is an adult and is being held on Grand Theft charges. On Saturday morning I will go to the Lauderhill PD and swear additional complaints and agree to press felony charges.

I am sure this isn’t done, but this is accurate up to now.

Eight Cores of Bliss

I have on my desk a 3.2ghz dual quad core Xeon MacPro running Leopard* 10.5.1 with 2gb of RAM and a total of 2TB of hard drive space (around 1/2 full already, thanks) plus dual SuperDrives and Airport and Bluetooth.

The switch has been painful as all hell. I didn't realize I could boot back into 10.4.11 which was my original plan. That created some issues with stuff that doesn't work with 10.5. I'm slowly working around them. My lack of access to Claris Resolve files will continue to be a pain because 10.5 cannot access OS9 and neither can Intel Machines. I am working on a solution.

The upgrade from Adobe CS2 to CS3 was a real chore since the transfer process didn't go smoothly. Three freaking hours, dammit. It gave me something to do whilst the contractors tore apart my shower (which will continue for the next week) to fix the shower pan.

Tomorrow I shall probably put one hard drive back in the original Mac so it works. That dual 2ghz G5 shall be on sale soon for interested parties. Still pretty damned fast.

Had dinner with Erin. Called Jose who was distracted and Tom after that. Discussed new mobile phone purchase that is pending. Just trying to get the iSync stuff up to date before I do that.







* Blech

Foreclosures Lead to Abandoned Animals

That subject line above comes from an AP report today. I shouldn't have read it because it was so upsetting, but I did. And now I feel compelled the misery with you, my loyal reader(s). I wish to point out how scummy humankind is. Though against the death penalty, I will make exceptions for anyone leaving a domesticated animal to die alone.

This article is contraindicated for those who have a strong sense of empathy.

What's in brown is excerpted from the article. What's in regular colour has been added by me.

The house was ravaged - its floors ripped, walls busted, and lights smashed by owners who trashed their home before a bank foreclosed on it. Hidden in the wreckage was an abandoned member of the family: a starving pit bull. The dog found by workers was too far gone to save. Pets "are getting dumped all over," said Traci Jennings, president of the Humane Society of Stanislaus County. "Farmers are finding dogs dumped on their grazing grounds, while house cats are showing up in wild cat colonies."

In one such colony in Modesto, two obviously tame cats watched alone from a distance as a group of feral cats devoured a pile of dry food Jennings offered. "These are obviously abandoned cats," Jennings said. "They're not afraid of people, and they stay away from the feral cats because they're ostracized by them." The abandoned pets are overwhelming animal shelters, drawing fury as photos of emaciated animals circulate on the Internet.

The first people to enter an abandoned house have discovered dogs tied to trees in backyards, cats in garages, and turtles, rabbits, and lizards in children's bedrooms. What kind of person does this? You love an animal and then abandon it. Better to abandon your teenager who can fend for him/herself than a poor little critter. Absolute scum these people are. Savages who deserve to be put down in a cruel, inhumane way.

The situation has become so widespread that the Humane Society urged home owners faced with foreclosure to take their animals to a shelter. The San Joaquin Animal Shelter is fielding more desperate calls from animal owners about to be evicted. Many call as a last resort after being turned down by various rescue groups with no room for more animals. "They're usually breaking down on the phone," said Kathy Potter, a shelter dispatcher. "I'm quite direct with them that there's a 50-50 chance the animals might be put down."

Great, I mean you were stupid enough to buy a house that was $500,000 and think the payments are $500 a month forever and the rate won't change. And now you're going to kill a creature that loved you because of your stupidty. Most people losing their homes in this fiasco are doing so because they're idiots. My sympathy level is low for them because they forgot the simple saying: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Who's suffering? The critter. Don't say the homeowner because most of them deserve what they're getting.

Some critics say the pet owners have already proved they are irresponsible by buying houses they could not afford or mortgages they did not bother to understand. "They see a pet as property, no different than a worn sofa tossed into the alley when the springs pop," says a posting about foreclosure pets. Yep. That sums it up nicely.

"Their best shot is for the owners to plan ahead some," Jennings said. "But they didn't plan when they bought their house. I don't see that happening anytime soon." Right. In short, it's still their fault for being idiots. Suffer eternal damnation you assholes.

Randomness Part Six

First, I updated an old post with some additional Cal alumni including Jay Ward (class of '41) the creator of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Second, blog traffic is creeping up again which pleases me. All-time historical hot topics now include Led Zeppelin in first place with about 7% of my 160,000+ hits since I got my tracking software. Daniel Radcliffe's Penis is still a hot (cough) topic at around 6% and that traffic does nothing but blow through here (forgive the pun). I'm half tempted to delete those posts because it's traffic I don't want. I won't do it of course. In third place is the Dell Sucks topic with about 3% of total traffic. Recent hot topics include the aforementioned in addition to my reviews of Terry Goodkind's books and my review of My Name is David. Also regaining popularity is that damned "Crazy Frog or Coldplay" post with 172 hits this week alone.

Third, I did not skate this weekend because Adrian was sick. I need a back-up skating partner. I am fat and need the exercise. I start a new diet along with many other people from work. I hope it helps. I want to lose 30 pounds but if I do half of that I'll be lucky. It's a one month contest. Tonight is my "last meal"

Fourth, I replaced all three of my exterior lights yesterday with ones that (I hope work). They're all made by Home Depot's "Hampton Bay" division and they all suck. The photocells don't last long and every year or so they have to be replaced. One year I will get motivated and get them from Lowe's instead but then I'll have to re-drill lots of holes in the walls for new mounting brackets.

Fifth, my neighbours are getting their new roof now. Amazingly, two years after the dual-hit of Wilma/Katrina people are still having roof work done in my neighbourhood.

Sixth, my ex-friends continue to vex me but it's my own damn fault that I continue to let them bother me. I could mention Josh's name here, for instance, but I won't. Or Eric's for that matter. Spiteful, I am :)

Seventh. Relatives suck. Pretty much the whole lot of 'em.

Eighth. I must be Belgian? Why? I am a bit Phlegmish today. That was funny as hell. I hope you laughed.

Ninth. At 3pm today we're all meeting at Cracker Barrel before the hockey game for a very late lunch or early dinner depending on your POV.

Tenth, and rather amusing, is the story of the first official piece of electronic advertising -- the fault of a dentist no less. Economist Magazine.

Last, but most important, Scooter got her check-up today. Everything is still same as last time, though she's lost a little bit of weight (not good). Her thyroid is under control from medication. Her kidney functions remain in the danger zone (just barely) but are not treatable -- the vet was surprised as she expected a worsening: good kitty :) So we're going to adjust (slightly) her thyroid dose from 1 pill AM and 1/2 pill PM to remove the 1/2 PM pill every OTHER day. Her shoulder ligament problem is worse -- it's more inflamed but there's nothing they can do as the vet doesn't think she can survive the surgery. I will get a second opinion soon.

Randomness Part Cinq

All sorts of stuff:

1. I am listening to "Hooterization: A Retrospective" which is a really fantastic album -- basically the Hooters greatest hits album. Highly recommended.
2. I have updated my Amazon wish list.
3. I returned a number of improperly fitting gifts today for the appropriate size.
4. I bought cat food today
5. I went to BJ's Wholesale today. They now stock Blu-Ray DVDs. Blockbuster stocks only Blu-Ray now. Warner Brothers has announced it will discontinue HD-DVD sales on 18 March 2008 leaving 6 of the 8 major studios now Blu-Ray only. Most analysts are predicting a slow death of HD-DVD by late 2008. Paramount and Universal are the two remaining HD-DVD players. Apple, Dell, Sony, and HP have all embraced the technology for their computers. I think Sony's won this battle and probably the war. That's a good thing because Blu-Ray is a far superior format in almost every way. Usually the consumer picks the cheaper format and not the better one. I guess in this case, it worked out. See previous blog post.
6. I am still sick. A bit of a stuffed, runny nose and a dry, hacking cough from hell.
7. Your 1040-ES 4th quarter payment is due 15 January 2008, if appropriate.
8. The US dollar continues to slide. I think I should transfer all my money to my UK bank account.
9. I went skating yesterday with Adrian (YAY) and we saw National Treasure: Book of Secrets. I rather enjoyed the film. It was not as a good as the first one. Though it was entirely predictable, it was still enjoyable and a rollicking good time. See a few sentences I wrote about the first one here.
10. Last night I made a huge Pork Chop with orange sauce. It was way too tough. Tonight, I'm going to make Kraft Organic Dinner and mix in a 1/2 pound of ground beef and some peas.
11. Home hockey games resume 8 January and I'm psyched.
12. The idiot light on my car came on. I have an appointment 14 January.
13. Austri is back from her mud bath in Calistoga. I got an e-mail from her. I thought she was ignoring me but she was just out of town.
14. Spoke to Erin and we might do dinner before the game on the 8th.
15. The Panthers are sucking ass.
16. To all my readers I wish you a very happy new year

My Vacation Report (Such as it was)

As usual, I am typing up a trip report for those parties who may be interested in what I did for vacation this year. I use the term vacation lightly – as this was anything but a vacation. As far as I'm concerned I took no vacation in 2007.

This year, I decided to ditch Christmas and head to Europe. It was, in theory, a good plan when it was hatched. The weakened US Dollar (thanks to that jerk George Bush), made this a very, very expensive trip but with no practical way to cancel. Had I known how bad the exchange rate would get, it would have been cheaper to eat the plane tickets than go. Oh well. Honestly, if I would have had a great time I wouldn’t have minded. The trip was planned when the exchange rate was US$1.85 per £1 but ended up around $2.05 and increase of 10% -- which may not sound like much until you add everything up.

Anyway, I invited many of my friends some of whom expressed serious interest. As the trip came closer, all my friends who said they were interested slowly backed out for various (and generally sound) reasons. However, surprisingly, my sister said she wanted to go. I thought it might be a good experience for us to go somewhere together again. Next time I have that thought, I wish someone would get a large 2x4 with a rusty nail in the end and smack me with it repeatedly until I’m either dead or come to my senses. No jury in the world will convict you.

I arrive at the airport via the Mom-Taxi at about 11am on Christmas day as scheduled. Check-in goes very smoothly and we’re at the gate a good hour before boarding. The plane boards almost on time -- only about 15 minutes late -- and my sister is still, at this point, seemingly excited. The plane pulls back and nearly an hour later, we are still on the ground for no reason. The flight to Newark takes almost four hours instead of just under three, again, for no apparent reason. I’m not concerned about our connection, though, because we have a long layover. And, indeed, despite the delay, we get to our gate in Newark well ahead of boarding. Since Samantha’s hungry, we stop at the food court to eat. This means we have no time to go to the lounge for some pre-flight relaxation, though. No big deal on that. (We were travelling business class courtesy of mile upgrades, of course).

We board our flight to Paris on-time and we depart about a half hour late, as do most international flights. It’s no big deal and because of tailwinds we manage to get to Paris a good 30 minutes early anyway. Samantha sleeps most of the flight. I read and watch in-flight movies. The seats in Continental's business-first cabin are not nearly as comfortable as Delta's -- I think there's a difference in the angle of recline.

We clear immigration and customs quickly and our bags take no time at all. We are soon in a taxi headed towards town from Charles De Gaulle Airport. We get to our hotel (Hotel Warwick Champs-Elysées) before 900am. In a surprise revelation, our hotel room is ready. We dump our stuff in our rooms and head out less than thirty minutes later.

The sun has yet to make an appearance and the weather is even colder than we expected, though considerably wetter. The weather can best be described as wet. We spend the rest of the day walking around Paris. Up the Champs d'Elysée and under the arc Du Triomphe. Then all the way back down the Champs d'Elysée to the Place De La Concorde, and through to the Louvre, and then back up Rue de Rivoli and off to Avenue FDR to the legendary Chocolatier Jadis et Gourmande. Then back up the Champs d'Elysée to our hotel where we rest.

Then, later, we take the metro to Boulevard Haussmann to the Galleries Lafayette and Printemps so Samantha can get some Paris shopping in. Paris wasn’t crowded during the day except in the Galleries Lafayette and Printemps which were crowded beyond all measure. So we went through them pretty quickly while she complained and bitched mightily. At night, it was a different story and Paris was swamped to the gills.

Due to the very low fog we didn’t go up the Eiffel Tower or Arc Du Triomphe because they were obscured from view (see my Flickr blog). She’d done both of these on her previous trip to Paris so it wasn’t a great loss. Still it was dissapointing.

The entire time in Paris, Samantha complained about the weather and how cold and miserable she was and how much everything sucked. This despite the fact she wants to return to university at Syracuse which is considerably wetter and colder. When asked what she wanted to do, it was “I don’t know” and then when I picked something she didn’t want to do it. It wasn’t very fun. This kept up the entire trip and dragged the vibe down considerably.

When it came time for dinner, she wanted to go to McDonald’s. Really. In Paris! I refused. I selected a nice authentic French creperie and another restaurant and let her select which one. We ended up at the creperie because the other one was too crowded for her. The creperie was excellent. She hated it. She went to some other French fast food place afterwards and got a take-away sandwich.

We didn’t eat breakfast at the hotel because it was €23 for a continental breakfast. That’s US$36 in case you’re not up on the exchange rate. Again, she wanted to go to McDonald’s but it was (happily) closed. I went to Paul -- an excellent French patisserie -- and got a great café au lait et une pan chocolate et une croissaint. C’est tres bien. Samantha got cranky and went to some fast food place without me. Don’t start me.

She was not very fun to be around and when questioned for a reason as to why, she said she didn’t like Paris. Paris, I might add is a wonderful city, though to its great misfortune, it's populated with Parisians, some of the most insufferable people ever to walk the earth. Though in defence of Paris, we did go to a local coffee shop on the Champs d'Elysée and the waiter there was fantastic. We got a fantastic, perfect, flawless cup of coffee, I might add. As we left that shop, Samantha muttered about how she got the wrong drink and not the one she ordered. Not true, I might add. She's just terminally dissatisfied I guess. Say whatever you want about the French, they know their foods and coffees and there really is no comparison.

Anyway, my flawed and defective French got us through the two days. She was so miserable, I suggested we pack off to EuroDisney and spend the night there instead of Paris. She agreed that was a most excellent idea and we took a very expensive cab ride – my fault for not taking the train. €70 down the tubes -- or about $105. As we got near Marne-La-Vallee, France we hit utter gridlock of the Manhattan variety. Samantha was complaining bitterly about France, the French, the weather, and anything else she could find fault with. The cab driver didn’t speak English (thank God!) but he and I had a light chat and he said all the cars were all going to EuroDisney (properly called Disneyland Paris now).

Sure enough, we got there and the queue to even get in the hotel lobby (New York, New York) was insufferable. Even I felt a bit cranky at this point – partly due to the line and partly due to not having had a little more time in Paris to do some stuff. We got the package which included the room, breakfast for two and park admission for the rest of that day and the next day too. It was so expensive I'm embarrassed to even tell you, though as a measure of a hint I'll tell you I could have spent a weekend in Las Vegas -- airfare included -- for less. So we finally make it through and check-in and, of course, the room isn’t ready so we go to the park.

My sister became the foul-mouth sailor. Everything was F-this and F-that. Now, I must tell you that if I notice swearing it’s got to be pretty damn bad. Seriously, I work around contractors and hear foul language as a matter of due course and I rarely notice it. This was a tirade of F words that didn't stop even after I asked.

She didn’t want to go on most of the rides because the lines were too long. I'm not sure what sort of lines one expects on a major holiday weekend in a Disney park. I knew it would be bad, but even I was a little surprised at the 100 to 180 minute queues.

We ended up doing over the course of the two half-days we were there Space Mountain, Big Thunder, Indiana Jones, Star Tours, Pirates of the Caribbean, and then over at the Studio park Rockin Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror as well as a couple of shows (Animagique, Cinemagique). We could have done better, but we had Miss Attitude to contend with. It definitely continued to drag my mood down. If I’m not having fun at a Disney park, that’s just sad.

That night she wouldn’t even leave the room to go to dinner. So I ended up going out by myself and getting some sandwich from the Disney Village and walking around for some time. The sandwich wasn't half bad, actually. I was surprised she didn’t go with me: after all, they had a McDonald’s. Anyway, we did eat a nice dinner with exceptionally bad service (it’s France after all) before we went to the train station. We ended up killing a lot of time when we could have been having fun. I took her on a walk around the perimeter of the lagoon and she did naught buy complain about how cold it was -- light snow flurries -- and didn't do much except drag her feet. Literally -- the entire trip -- you could hear her feet shuffling. I wonder if she knows how to walk properly.

Our EuroStar train left Marne-La-Valle right on time for England, and now they even do the passport control right on the train. Samantha slept the entire trip through both stops in Lille and Ashford. EuroStar started going to St Pancras instead of Waterloo from 15 November, so it was nice to come into a brand new train station. From St Pancras, we took a cab to our hotel, the Rembrandt. We checked-in and everything was wonderful. The hotel was totally re-done since my last stay in early 2006 and was absolutely spectacular, though my room had a temperature control difficulty, which was fixed the next morning. By difficulty I mean I was sweating buckets and it was around 40 degrees outside, but the window was locked. After putting our things away and unpacking, we went down to the tube station that night and picked up our Oyster cards (RFID tube tickets) to save time the next day. We tried to go to Sainsbury's to pick up some supplies, but they were already closed for the night so we ended up at Lord's instead -- a definite downgrade.

I also begin to feel unwell that night and didn’t sleep due to violent coughing and woke up thoroughly sick the next day. Trooper that I am, we kept right to schedule.

We got up and ate at the hotel breakfast buffet as we did every day until the end of the trip. Before we left that morning I asked the concierge to arrange show tickets for us and gave him detailed instructions after consulting with Samantha as to our choices. Also, it's now Saturday 29 December 2007 if you've lost track. We got up early this day to go to Portobello Road market -- though the market is open daily, the street market is open only on Saturdays. Samantha really didn’t like it at first, but once she found something she wanted, she didn’t hate it and almost smiled. She got a great bargain on a Le SportSac backpack, though at the price she paid, I strongly suspect it was a counterfeit. She used that backpack the rest of the trip. We got my dad an authentic Russian war medal, plus some other gifts I shan’t mention as they have yet to be distributed.

After that, we went by tube off to Oxford Street for my famous shopping walk tour (see my London web page for details). We did the whole walk including the Carnaby Street detour, at her request. I managed to buy one shirt. She bought England -- I only partly jest. We then did the Book Store walk, which is not nearly as fun now that it’s all chain stores except for Foyle’s. I bought books, but you knew that before you even read this far. Then we went to Forbidden Planet where I bought absolutely nothing. Really. I am shocked. There just wasn't anything that excited me enough to buy.

After returning to the hotel, I left on my own to visit the pharmacist and obtain some cough medicine. In the UK to get any sort of "real" drug you have to speak to the pharmacist -- it's not self-serve like it is here in the USA. You get questioned as to your symptoms, allergies, and whatnot and then they make a recommendation. Also, in the UK a pharmacist can give you low-end prescription drugs for minor symptoms. The pharmacist was very knowledgeable and she gave me two choices: one that tasted okay and would probably work and one that “tastes like shite” but would be guaranteed to work. I picked the nasty one. It wasn’t as bad a taste as the legendary TerpinHydrate with Codeine but it was close.

The concierge was very successful and got all four shows we asked for. My sister picked the plays except for one. Please note that. We ate at Pizza Express that night. We returned to the hotel. I didn’t sleep well at all. Lots of hacking and such. Sadly, the nasty stuff didn’t work and I had another fitful night.

Sunday morning we went to the British Museum for the one thing I wanted to see more than anything else on this trip: the Terra-Cotta Warrior exhibit. This is the first time they’ve been allowed out of China. I’ve not managed to see them on my past two trips to China due to their remote location (a six hour flight from Shanghai). I was crushed to learn it was sold out through 4 January 2008. I consulted several ticket brokers and the hotel concierge with absolutely no luck. Down in flames -- crushed. Really.

So, we were instead off to the London Zoo. We took a taxi, something I rarely do, favouring public transport instead. It just worked out better that way because Miss Grump was complaining about the walking even though we hadn't really even walked all that much. She did a lot of complaining, as I'm sure you've noticed. Just really grating, I have to say.

We got to the zoo and actually spent real time there. She seemed to enjoy herself. I was glad for that. After the zoo, we took a cab to Tottenham Court Road tube station and then walked to Covent Garden where we did the London Transport Museum. She was probably unhappy at my pace, but the museum has been closed nearly two years and they totally re-did the museum top to bottom and it’s a resounding success. I could bore you with details, but I shan’t do that except to say they took one of my favourite museums and made it even better. Afterwards, I took her to the Paul Frank Store because she loves that stuff.

Later that day I went back to the pharmacist. She prescribed two syrups this time: one for day use and one for night use. Linctus of something with Codeine. She also asked me again about my allergies and such. As a side note, when I mentioned my allergic reaction to Claritin-D she said she thinks I’m not allergic to the Claritin itself but the Pseudoephedrine in it. She suspects my body is metabolising the Pseudoephedrine too fast and that’s what caused the irregular heartbeat. She said I should consult with my doctor. These syrups didn’t cure my cough or mitigate it too much, but they sure did make me sleep. So a partial victory anyway.

Sunday we walked around Piccadilly Circus and Leicester Square and we ate at Belgo Centraal that night, a fine Belgian restaurant. Then, we hopped the tube to Victoria and saw Billy Elliot. The theatre was unnaturally hot. Samantha didn’t seem to enjoy what is described as the best British Musical ever. It may just be the best play ever, but that’s my opinion. I will say the new kid isn’t as good as the old one, and a lot has to do with the fact he doesn’t look the part and it's a tad bit distracting. He’s too tall and my guess he isn’t long for the role for that very reason. Still, it was fantastic though everyone in the audience had shed much of their over-clothing and was sweating.

Monday morning it was the London Eye because it was a clear day -- a rare thing on a winter's day in London. That went over well of course. Even the Grinch would like the Eye. It wasn't too crowded and we got on straight away, though there was an impressive queue when we got off, just before 11am. There was a Star Wars exhibit in the Aquarium building, which Grumpy asked if we could do. I thought it would be hokey crap, but I was so thrilled she suggested something I immediately approved. As it turned out, this was the Real Deal and had all the ORIGINAL models and costumes and was done by Lucasfilm itself. I took a huge number of photos because I was so impressed with it. We both really liked it. It was really good and we had a great time.

After that, it was off to the British Library. I showed her the Gutenberg Bible and she didn’t know what it was. I swear I am not making that up. I was ashamed. She had a general concept of what the Magna Carta was at least when I showed her that. She was totally unimpressed by seeing the original handwritten scores from some of the greatest composers to ever live. I love this place and, sadly, it was lost on her. I am not impressed with our modern educational system if this is what it turns out.

Monday afternoon we went to the Photographer’s gallery. At Miss Grumpy’s rate of speed we were done in, I kid you not, well under 15 minutes. I barely had time to spend a few seconds glancing my way through. That evening we went to Avenue Q at 5 O’clock as it was the only show for New Year’s Eve. A rousing performance and a grand old time. Everyone in the theatre laughed except one person. I dare you to guess who.

The crowds for New Year’s Eve are always excessive in London and this was no exception with nearly one million people crowding the area near the London Eye on the bank of the Thames for fireworks. Samantha became very frustrated with the crowds -- and I do not blame her one bit for this -- so we ended up going back to the hotel to watch on TV instead. This turned out to be a good move as there were, according to the morning Times, 90-minute queues at all the tube stations after the fireworks. We ate at McDonald’s that night because, sadly, all the restaurants that were open were booked solid and most were closed. Worst meal of the trip, of course. She liked it. ::rolls eyes::

Tuesday morning we went off to the London Dungeon. This was her pick -- there is no way would I pick or recommend this attraction. When we got there, it wasn’t open yet because it was New Year’s morning and they had late opening hours, so we trudged down to the our next stop, the Design Museum (another of her picks) which we both were very disappointed in. She hated it and so did I, though they have one of the best gift shops outside the Tate Modern. There just really wasn't anything of interest. After that, we went back to the London Dungeon. It was not scary, frightening, gorey, or horrible, nor was it very interesting. It was way overpriced for what you get. She swore most of the way through. I don’t blame her, but still....

Then it was off to the Science Museum. We did the whole thing and she didn’t complain much so maybe that meant she liked it. Afterwards, we went back to the hotel for a rest. Then it was off for dinner at Rules. Everyone should eat at Rules at least once on every trip through London -- it's been an institution there for well over 200 years -- since 1798. A fine, fine, dinner and an excellent dessert. Then it was off to the theatre to see Spamalot.

I didn’t know what to expect of Spamalot. I like Monty Python, of course -- but one never knows what to expect of them. The play was stupid by anyone’s standards, but I laughed a lot. I even think Grumpy almost smiled once or twice, even. And a small spoiler: never sit in row D, seat 1 unless you care to be dragged upon stage and made part of the show even if you're unwilling. The leading lady was one of the most amazing singers I’ve ever heard. Seriously, she was a tour-de-force all by herself.

Wednesday morning was our last day in London and I am sad to report I was relived this trip was over. How sad is that? We did Westminster Abbey at Samantha's request and at her pace: that is to say we were there less than 20 minutes. If you’ve ever been, you understand that’s quite the achievement and not one to be proud of. Then it was off to the Tate Modern in Southwark. We did that and, as you all know, art museums I do at a steady pace but I was having trouble keeping up with her. They might have paintings on the wall, but we were moving so fast, it's hard to be sure.

Afterwards, we walked across the Millennium Bridge and to the Bank of England where I wanted to see the Bank of England museum. However, the speed at which she went through it was pretty much hard to see anything. After that, we went to the hotel to drop off some stuff and adjust our layers of clothing. Then, it was off to Harrods where we split up to meet back at the hotel at 5pm.

I thought I'd buy Confessor (just out in hardback) earlier in the trip but at £20 that was over $40 and I figured I'd wait until I got home as that's way too much for a book. I did see it at another shop for £14.99 and decided it was still better to wait until I got home. I was in Harrods and saw a stack marked at £4.99 or about $10. I grabbed a copy and took it to the register where I was informed it was a mis-mark, and I certainly agreed since that's less than a paperback costs and this was a fresh release hardback. To my surprise, they said they'd sell it to me anyway, so I got it. The review is in my blog.

I got lost looking for the stairwell out of Harrods, so I asked someone where they hid the damn thing. I was directed to go through antiquities, past minerals and fossils, and I would find it there. I did, stopping to admire the dinosaur fossils for US$¼ Million and up including a genuine brontosaur bone and a woolly mammoth tusk. I also admired a pyrite chunk from a meteor, which I may yet buy if we can figure out how to transport it to the USA. I walked by the art gallery where I accidentally bought a painting, which should be here in two weeks. We shan't discuss what getting lost in Harrods cost me.

That night we went to Bunches of Grapes pub for dinner and then to the Lyceum for Lion King. It was a very long, bitterly cold walk. Samantha was in a foul mood for reasons I can’t disclose because they’re a mystery. She was in an even worse mood after spending fifteen minutes in queue for the loo. We got to our seats just as the play started. It's a great play, and one of the best I’ve ever seen but not this performance. There was no projection from many of the actors and if you can't hear, you can't experience the play. There was the occasional breach of the fourth wall by trying to funny – inexcusable. I was unhappy about it, but enjoyed the show on a visual level. Samantha slept through parts. Not one play we saw got a standing ovation on this trip. They don’t give those away so easy in London. And that’s good when you have to earn them. Anyway, we walked to Embankment tube and went back to the hotel to pack and to bed. It snowed a bit that night.

We got up bright and early, checked out before breakfast and took a cab to Victoria and hopped on the Gatwick Express. At the airport, we checked-in, and went to the lounge where they served a hot breakfast. Yep. HOT! Continental shares the Emirates lounge at Gatwick now. It was very pleasant and very posh including a hot buffet, a cold buffet, free internet, bathrooms, showers, and the like. I didn’t feel well and I’m not sure if that bathroom will ever be the same again.

We went to the gate and they boarded the flight about 20 minutes late, and we left without much further delay. On the flight Grumpy slept. I watched a film called Across The Universe which is a quirky film set to Beatles music. I had heard of it before but never went to see it because of highly questionable reviews, but I must say I rather enjoyed it.

We arrived Newark about 15 minutes early, cleared immigration without difficulty, reclaimed our bags and then cleared customs quickly. We re-checked our bags, and then took the tram to the C terminal for our flight home.

We got in the lengthy security queue. We had almost cleared security when some guy came running through and asked to cut so he could get his flight. Nobody objected and the usually bitchy TSA took pity and let him through. He threw his jacket on top of mine as it went through the x-ray machine. After passing through the detector machines, he grabbed his jacket and ran off. I grabbed mine and started to walk towards the gate. Moments later I realized my passport was gone! He’d taken it! Not much could be done because we didn’t know where he got off too. I asked TSA for help, but they said they couldn't do anything. I realized I'd have to call the Passport Office and report it missing as soon as I got home. Happily, a few moments before our flight was to board, I was paged to security. My passport was turned in before he boarded his flight. All was well.

We boarded our flight 30 minutes later, arrived home about 30 minutes late and then waited about one hour for our damned luggage. Or to be accurate mine was about 20 minutes and Grumpy's was about the last off. And that concluded the trip.

I’m still sick. I didn’t enjoy myself very much, and so basically I didn’t have a real vacation in 2007.

Happy Whatevers

Dear Loyal Reader(s):

Okay, there's lots of you out there but most of you just use RSS so you'll probably skip this. However, to those who do read all the posts I'd like to wish you a Happy -- be it Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, or some other event.

And I'd like to wish everyone a very happy, healthy, auspicious and prosperous New Year. I certainly hope it's better than the last one. I also look forward to booting our current despots -- Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney -- from the office they hold as the result of fraudulent elections. That is going to be the best part of the new year and it cannot come too soon.

The blog will be silent for about two weeks as I shall be on holiday and am going to sever myself from all computer access during that time. Yeah, a proper holiday.

I'd also like to welcome Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, to YouTube where The Royal Channel contains all sorts of fascinating goodies. I would suggest you start with her 1957 inaugural Christmas television address and then follow it with whatever other videos may amuse you. It's just fascinating. She'll be posting her current message later today but I shall be away by then.

I guess that's about it. Thanks for reading my posts this year, and double thanks to those who actually posted replies. And special gratitude to those of you who link to this blog.

[[my friends]]